I’m not fat. I’m just so freakin’ sexy it overflows.
Yep – Aunty Acid states the truth! Teehee.
So I am involved in a ten week cognitive behavior therapy class. My attitude going in is that I am going to learn at least one new thing. So far, the learning is not all that mind-blowing. They have a rule that you cannot get involved in intimate relationships with the other students. This does not just mean sexual, but actual friendships as well. There are a couple people there that I could become friends with, but obviously that is not happening. Another rule is that you have to ask permission before providing feedback. This would work better if people followed it.
I already did the workbook last year and passed it on to a friend. This book so needs to be reworked. I find it would be great if you were already at the beginning of your weight loss journey, but in the middle of your journey – not as great. That’s of course assuming you get past page 12 where they basically tell you that you will only lose about 10% of your weight and that’s it. Not that you may plateau, but not lose anymore unless you lower your eating to 1380 calories a day for the rest of your life and doing one hour of vigorous exercise a day. Let’s be honest – if I was interested in that sort of life, I wouldn’t be the person I am now.
I am finding myself at odds with myself. I want to get down to a number that I want to be (that’s weight, inches, size of clothing, etc.). I want to do it healthily and am prepared for it to be slow. I am willing to make small changes that eventually become my new normal. I am prepared for plateaus and realize that these are times to practice maintaining and then resetting my plan. Perhaps in the future, 1380 calories and an hour of exercise will be my new normal. For now – stop telling me this!!! This is depressing shit. This says I will have no time in my life for anything else. This tells me I can’t be fun-loving, social, or happy.
Yes – I need a bit of a belief system change. One thing that has stuck with me from the class is the iceberg philosophy. The situation is what you see above the water. Just below the surface is your knowledge and skills to handle the situation. Below that going into the depths are your thoughts, your beliefs, and your feelings. I guess I never really thought that your feelings would be below your beliefs. But it makes sense. So what I need to work on is my belief system, which means getting in touch with the feelings that set them. Unfortunately, I feel like this is way above my skills right now.
Why do I feel that an hour of exercise a day is excessive? Why do I think this will waste my entire evening? (You know I am not getting up earlier – nope – not happening). I was doing a half hour walk during work and then a half hour of exercise when I got home from work Monday and Tuesday. There’s an hour right there. Thursdays during fall and winter are yoga for 90 minutes. Wednesday was my day off after work. So why has this year been so hard to exercise? Why am I letting that go so easily?
For the past 6 weeks I have not done my food journal. Why not? It started the week I had to travel two weeks in a row for work. It was just too much bother. Then I had a week in town and travelled again. So I thought okay – when I am back at home, I’ll do it again. That was two weeks ago. What the heck? Now – as it happens, I haven’t gained any weight in that time, so the good news is I can maintain without the journaling. But I need to get back into this habit again. I doesn’t help my Fitbit has been acting up. The one I had for a year, just up and died. The replacement I bought last week decided it didn’t want to hold a charge and then one of the lights refused to work and the next was thinking the same thing. So today, we have a new one again. Oy!
So this is what I am working on and thinking about and trying not to bore D with. No wonder I was willing to spend seven hours yesterday cleaning the master bedroom and upper bath from the ceiling to the floor and everything in between, with a brief break in between to tidy the sewing/gift room and do the sewing pile. Distraction is a wonderful tool, though it gave me lots of time to think as well.
Anyway, I need to get some sleep. Another week of excitement at work. Thank goodness it’s a short week for me.
So I am involved in a ten week cognitive behavior therapy class. My attitude going in is that I am going to learn at least one new thing. So far, the learning is not all that mind-blowing. They have a rule that you cannot get involved in intimate relationships with the other students. This does not just mean sexual, but actual friendships as well. There are a couple people there that I could become friends with, but obviously that is not happening. Another rule is that you have to ask permission before providing feedback. This would work better if people followed it.
I already did the workbook last year and passed it on to a friend. This book so needs to be reworked. I find it would be great if you were already at the beginning of your weight loss journey, but in the middle of your journey – not as great. That’s of course assuming you get past page 12 where they basically tell you that you will only lose about 10% of your weight and that’s it. Not that you may plateau, but not lose anymore unless you lower your eating to 1380 calories a day for the rest of your life and doing one hour of vigorous exercise a day. Let’s be honest – if I was interested in that sort of life, I wouldn’t be the person I am now.
I am finding myself at odds with myself. I want to get down to a number that I want to be (that’s weight, inches, size of clothing, etc.). I want to do it healthily and am prepared for it to be slow. I am willing to make small changes that eventually become my new normal. I am prepared for plateaus and realize that these are times to practice maintaining and then resetting my plan. Perhaps in the future, 1380 calories and an hour of exercise will be my new normal. For now – stop telling me this!!! This is depressing shit. This says I will have no time in my life for anything else. This tells me I can’t be fun-loving, social, or happy.
Yes – I need a bit of a belief system change. One thing that has stuck with me from the class is the iceberg philosophy. The situation is what you see above the water. Just below the surface is your knowledge and skills to handle the situation. Below that going into the depths are your thoughts, your beliefs, and your feelings. I guess I never really thought that your feelings would be below your beliefs. But it makes sense. So what I need to work on is my belief system, which means getting in touch with the feelings that set them. Unfortunately, I feel like this is way above my skills right now.
Why do I feel that an hour of exercise a day is excessive? Why do I think this will waste my entire evening? (You know I am not getting up earlier – nope – not happening). I was doing a half hour walk during work and then a half hour of exercise when I got home from work Monday and Tuesday. There’s an hour right there. Thursdays during fall and winter are yoga for 90 minutes. Wednesday was my day off after work. So why has this year been so hard to exercise? Why am I letting that go so easily?
For the past 6 weeks I have not done my food journal. Why not? It started the week I had to travel two weeks in a row for work. It was just too much bother. Then I had a week in town and travelled again. So I thought okay – when I am back at home, I’ll do it again. That was two weeks ago. What the heck? Now – as it happens, I haven’t gained any weight in that time, so the good news is I can maintain without the journaling. But I need to get back into this habit again. I doesn’t help my Fitbit has been acting up. The one I had for a year, just up and died. The replacement I bought last week decided it didn’t want to hold a charge and then one of the lights refused to work and the next was thinking the same thing. So today, we have a new one again. Oy!
So this is what I am working on and thinking about and trying not to bore D with. No wonder I was willing to spend seven hours yesterday cleaning the master bedroom and upper bath from the ceiling to the floor and everything in between, with a brief break in between to tidy the sewing/gift room and do the sewing pile. Distraction is a wonderful tool, though it gave me lots of time to think as well.
Anyway, I need to get some sleep. Another week of excitement at work. Thank goodness it’s a short week for me.
Labels: life
posted by Taryn at 10:12 pm
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