Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
Sorry for the absence. Life has been hell in a hand basket for a while now and I barely had chances to pop on the internet to see what friends were up to, let alone tell you about the chaos of my life. Work has been full of overtime, which is good as it will help pay for the upcoming wedding I have to attend, but it also has not left time for downtime or for keeping my house organized and clean. And as we all know from previous posts, a messy house equates a messy mind/heart/soul for me. So no surprise then I have been feeling very displaced, chaotic, and stressed.
The good news is my holidays start in one week. The bad news – I only have a week to get my life in order and it is only a week of holidays and there is SOOOO much to do.
The positives
I am taking yoga again. Thank goodness. They moved it to Thursdays, which I am not a fan of, but at least I have an hour and a half of relaxation and stretching each week.
The scale and measuring tape are moving in the right direction. I am happy my hard work is paying off. It may be slowly, but at least it is in the right direction.
Holidays are coming. One glorious week of not getting up super early. One glorious week of not going to work. One glorious week of me time.
The negatives
This stress is taking its toll. My eating habits are atrocious. My house is messy. My life feels unsatisfying. There is a part of me that is feeling luxurious with alone time, while at the same time I am feeling very lonely. Again. There is a part of me wanting to bathe in self-gratification, to make it all about me and my wants and desires. Warring that side is the practical side, which keeps reminding me of all that still needs to be done before winter, before the Halloween party, before the next project.
D is stressed as well, due to work. I am stressed due to work. This is leading to stresses at home, which means little time to just chill. There are things going on in my head that a lot of people would cock an eyebrow at, at the very least. So much I would do. Goodness, if I drank, this would be a very expensive time for me. I think what is really sucking is I don’t have a lot of stress relievers anymore. I don’t drink, don’t do drugs, and don’t smoke. I am not allowed caffeine; I am watching what I eat. Exercise doesn’t give me that high other people may get. Short of laying myself on the front lawn saying come and get it boys, what is a girl to do to take off that edge? I know this will get better. I know things will calm down. Eventually. The question is can I last until then? Can I stay alive, stay sane, and stay true to my don’t drink, don’t do drugs lifestyle?
Anyway, I need to go get some sleep. I just thought I would catch up with the site. Let y’all know I was alive. Maybe next week I can invest some more time to talk about what is going on in my life? We’ll see.
The good news is my holidays start in one week. The bad news – I only have a week to get my life in order and it is only a week of holidays and there is SOOOO much to do.
The positives
I am taking yoga again. Thank goodness. They moved it to Thursdays, which I am not a fan of, but at least I have an hour and a half of relaxation and stretching each week.
The scale and measuring tape are moving in the right direction. I am happy my hard work is paying off. It may be slowly, but at least it is in the right direction.
Holidays are coming. One glorious week of not getting up super early. One glorious week of not going to work. One glorious week of me time.
The negatives
This stress is taking its toll. My eating habits are atrocious. My house is messy. My life feels unsatisfying. There is a part of me that is feeling luxurious with alone time, while at the same time I am feeling very lonely. Again. There is a part of me wanting to bathe in self-gratification, to make it all about me and my wants and desires. Warring that side is the practical side, which keeps reminding me of all that still needs to be done before winter, before the Halloween party, before the next project.
D is stressed as well, due to work. I am stressed due to work. This is leading to stresses at home, which means little time to just chill. There are things going on in my head that a lot of people would cock an eyebrow at, at the very least. So much I would do. Goodness, if I drank, this would be a very expensive time for me. I think what is really sucking is I don’t have a lot of stress relievers anymore. I don’t drink, don’t do drugs, and don’t smoke. I am not allowed caffeine; I am watching what I eat. Exercise doesn’t give me that high other people may get. Short of laying myself on the front lawn saying come and get it boys, what is a girl to do to take off that edge? I know this will get better. I know things will calm down. Eventually. The question is can I last until then? Can I stay alive, stay sane, and stay true to my don’t drink, don’t do drugs lifestyle?
Anyway, I need to go get some sleep. I just thought I would catch up with the site. Let y’all know I was alive. Maybe next week I can invest some more time to talk about what is going on in my life? We’ll see.
Labels: life
posted by Taryn at 10:06 pm
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