Sunday, February 11, 2018

2018 – the year thus far


Oh – my – goodness. Why did the year decide it should be so chaotic from the start?


Right at the beginning of January I actually was shortlisted (out of 2) in a job opportunity. I did not get the job sadly (it went to a colleague of mine). It was a good feeling to be wanted and told I presented well (especially after being rejected so many times throughout the year). The annoying part is that my colleague was very sick with the flu when she went in for the interview and she still got the job. Yes, she knew both the interviewers, but when I heard the details of the interview, I partly feel like they already knew they wanted her. Perhaps I was just a surprise in the pile of resumes. What also made it awkward was that during that time I was acting manager, which meant not only did I not get the job, but I was involved in helping my colleague get the job. Awkward is definitely the feeling there.
Then to make matters more annoying – another colleague is leaving our team for a job opportunity elsewhere. Insert eye roll here. Seriously, that drops us to 4 people in total; one person is pretty new; the other two are not exactly the hardest working; and me.

So work has continued to be arghhhh. We finally got notification on events for next year (could they cut it closer?), but with new senior management, it has been a fight to just do what we need to do. I have been trying to just keep my head down and do my job and not get caught up in the drama, but goodness, it is so hard. Why do people feel like they need to come in and immediately piss over everything? Seriously, take some time to learn what is happening before you start making significant changes.

To be fair, this week has been super hard as I worked through a very bad headache/migraine Monday through Wednesday. Thank goodness I did as my own boss decided to make a change that had no basis in reality and all of my hard work was the only thing that prevented a really bad decision. Thursday was amazing – no headache and I got 8 out of the 10 things on my ‘to do’ list completed. I felt really productive which I followed up with a fairly productive evening at home. It was kind of odd. What is annoying is the headache keeps just hovering. My neck muscles are so tight and they just don’t want to release. During my session two weeks ago, my massage therapist was shocked at how tight my muscles were and could not get them to release. So I keep having the headache linger and sleeping is not helping. Not sure why, but goodness, I just wake up so sore even though I’m not waking up in weird positions.

The good points are that we have a plan to pay off the last of debt, which will then allow us to focus on the mortgage. I would love to be debt-free and mortgage-free. Goodness, that thought just fills me with giddiness. It just adds so many options. It's still a bit away, but a girl can dream.

I have been reading some very interesting books (made one of my random trips to the library and proceed to take out a variety of books):
Curvy yoga – by Anna Guest-Jelley – honestly, if any of my friends have been turned off yoga due to not being flexible or to being too curvy, this book has so many great options for how to adjust the poses to work with your body. Highly recommend.

Furiously Happy – by Jenny Lawson – I enjoyed her first book so it is not a surprise how much I enjoyed the second, but truly, it is a fascinating read. Like Neil Gaiman says in his praise “you know that really shouldn’t be laughing and probably you’ll go to hell for laughing…” and I felt that way at first. Goodness, did I laugh right off the bat. But then I really connected with her again. I love that she talks so honestly about her mental illness and it really makes you feel like “It’s not just me.” Her chapter The Big Quiz really hit home for me – I feel it is exactly how I approach life – oh here is a deep topic, but there is still something to laugh about. It truly made me pause and think – Comparison is the death of joy – Mark Twain. Or “Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes look to everyone else’s highlight reel.” Goodness – this is so true for Facebook, twitter, all those social media sites. I really appreciated her comments at the end:
How can we be expected to properly judge ourselves? We know all of our worst secrets. We are biased and overly critical, and occasionally filled with shame. So you’ll have to just trust me when I say that you are worthy, important, and necessary. And smart.

You may ask how I know and I’ll tell you how. It’s because right now? YOU’RE READING. That’s what the sexy people do. Other, less awesome people might currently be in their front yards chasing down and punching squirrels, but not you. You’re quietly curled up with a book designed to make you a better, happier, more introspective person.

You win. You are amazing.

I’ll leave you with that thought because it is true. You are amazing.

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