It is important a man regain his strength after repeated beddings.
The fun you get when you cannot come up with an excellent title, so you grab the nearest book (In the Company of vampires by Katie MacAllister), randomly pick a page (page 215), and see where your eyes land. And so sets the tone of this entry…
Things I have thought about on this long weekend
1. My dreams are soooo utterly strange. And because of their strangeness, I am not sleeping well. It does no good to wake up because your dream is so wacked and then can’t fall back asleep because you need a new thought. Plus the dang cat keeps waking me up early. I don’t know what for… but it is getting annoying.
2. I need to get involved in something. I have decided I am lonely. My friends, wonderful being that they are, are all involved in something and so they get out of the city, they are doing things, and I am home being bored and lonely. Okay, not all the time, because being a scorpio also means acknowledging that sometimes you should only be by yourself (safest for all). I miss some of my long-ago friends. I miss calling someone up and saying “hey, let’s go shopping.” Or even better, someone calling me and saying ‘hey, let’s do something.’ I noticed that many of my interactions with friends revolve around food – not exactly conducive to the whole eating healthy kind of thing. I had friends who I used to shop with. If we stopped for a snack, it was rare and usually small and/or we shared. I should be out shopping today, but I just didn’t feel like shopping alone.
That is not to say, I don’t appreciate all of my friends who I go out with to eat. The bonus to eating with friends is you eat slower and you get to talk – lots. I love that. It just means I need to spread out these dates. Last week, I had dinner out on Tuesday, there was cake at work on Wednesday, and I went out for lunch on Thursday. That is a lot of eating out. I could have done without the cake (should have said no to all three pieces over Wednesday and Thursday… Heehee), but the dinner and the lunch were good events to attend. I had fun, ate good food, have great conversations, and all that. Supper at my parents yesterday was fabulous – I love my mom’s homemade ukranian food!!! And today I am out to dinner with some friends. I love it. There is just part of me that says “ACK!!! Look at all those calories!! What are you doing?!?” Got to shut that beyotch up somehow! And not by shoving potato chips in her mouth.
Last night, we had some friends over for Rock Band - and we had fun! I put out some juice, a bag of chips, and some peeps (which since I was the only one who likes them, I ate them all.) We had over 3 hours of fun, talking and playing. I need more nights like that!
3. Food diaries should never be copied into an easily readable format. I spent 2 hours or so the other night typing in the last three weeks of food into my computer (because my writing is atrocious) and I was exhausted from doing that. Why – oh why – the torture! It was interesting in the beginning to do the food diary, but now – after 3 weeks, I am bored now. I am tired of documenting/estimating/measuring all my food. I am tired of counting how many potato chips I put into my mouth. One might state – stop eating potato chips and you no longer need to count. My response – Bite me!
The whole point of my lifestyle journey is to make changes, but still eat what I like to eat and no make foods bad. I already changed my diet to meet other restrictions and the resentment still burns, especially Coke Classic. The giving up of caffeine is probably my biggest resentment. I understand I needed to for health reasons, but there are days when I want caffeine; when I need a coke slurpee. I don’t want to add to that resentment by not eating things I like – like caramels, like potato chips, like dessert. So I need a plan that allows me this freedom. And so I believe in moderation, in the 80/20 rule. As long as you eat healthy 80% of the time, then you can have that 20% freedom to eat the not so healthy stuff.
My dad supposedly kept a food diary for two years. Part of me is fascinated with that and things what an interesting piece of work. The other part of me is horrified with all the work involved. I can acknowledge that it takes away some of the mindless eating. When you have to count/measure/estimate all of your food, you are less likely to shovel it into your mouth without thinking. I am not counting calories; I am just writing down what I have eaten and approximately when. I know you should also do mood at the time and whether you were actually hungry, but my brain is really good at convincing me, and my body, that we are hungry regardless. I can be not hungry, but start focusing on food, even sub-consciously, and suddenly my stomach says it is starving. And if my stomach says it is hungry, then I am going to feed it.
What I have figured out is what I really knew, but have ignored – I snack. A lot! And I think sometimes I snack instead of hydrating. Especially at work. I drink a lot more when I am home than I do at work. At work, I will reach for my fruit or veggies before reaching for my water bottle. Not good. I used to drink two 591mL bottles a day. As my stress levels rose, I found I drank less and less. There have been some days when I have not actually drunk a drop all day. I got all of my fluids from eating fruit, veggies, and my lunch. Not optimal. Also, because I snack at work in front of a computer, I find at home I am hungry as soon as I spend some time on my computer. At home, I don’t reach for the veggies or fruit, I reach for candy and chips. I have other snack food at work – granola bars, some caramels, some pringle sticks (the honey butter is to die for and all for 100 calories!) for in case I am craving carbs or protein. I rarely eat them though. I find I tend to reach for my fruit/veggies first. At home, I ignore the fridge and dive into the cupboards for food. I had a conversation with my brother about that yesterday and whether it should be in the house or not. We both agreed if it is not in the house, we will go out and buy it and then buy more than we actually came for. If it is in the house, then we will eat it. Which is worse? That – I haven’t figured out yet.
I am pretty good at not eating 2 hours before bed – though sometimes, this means I stay up a bit later than I should. And since I don’t go to bed at the same time, this can mean various eating times.
So my goal this week is to get back to drinking at least 1 bottle, preferably 2 bottles of water (flavored with crystal lite – of course) before I leave work. I should be drinking 1 bottle by lunch and the other by the end of the day. Maybe that will help with all the snacking.
My other goal is to get out of the office at least once a day. I am horrible for not taking my breaks if fave coworker is not around. Just because I hate walking alone, but I am not eager to go with certain other people either. I am slowly moving from my old job into the new one (that should start happening rather rapidly soon – since the other managers ganged up on mine and decided my work is not required. Part of me believes firmly in accountability and preventing errors before they happen and I really want to help people with that. Another part of me hopes they get in really deep doo-doo for all the errors that won’t be caught once I am no longer reviewing the work. The other areas I review all believe strongly that it is easier to ask for forgiveness that to ask for permission. I hope karma teaches them a really good lesson. Okay, need to let go of that bitterness.). So maybe with the new work and the new people I hang with, I can find someone else to walk with. Or maybe it will be such that I will just go do whatever to get out. I know there are a couple people around who do some really good long walks – I just don’t know if I am up to that. They do the stairs in the river valley at the end of the walk – unless you are going down (and sometimes even then), those things are torture devices!
I will figure it out. Things will all be good.
Anyway, I should go do a few chores around the house before I go out tonight, so until next time when I further analyze my journey or when I just share something really funky, take care…
Things I have thought about on this long weekend
1. My dreams are soooo utterly strange. And because of their strangeness, I am not sleeping well. It does no good to wake up because your dream is so wacked and then can’t fall back asleep because you need a new thought. Plus the dang cat keeps waking me up early. I don’t know what for… but it is getting annoying.
2. I need to get involved in something. I have decided I am lonely. My friends, wonderful being that they are, are all involved in something and so they get out of the city, they are doing things, and I am home being bored and lonely. Okay, not all the time, because being a scorpio also means acknowledging that sometimes you should only be by yourself (safest for all). I miss some of my long-ago friends. I miss calling someone up and saying “hey, let’s go shopping.” Or even better, someone calling me and saying ‘hey, let’s do something.’ I noticed that many of my interactions with friends revolve around food – not exactly conducive to the whole eating healthy kind of thing. I had friends who I used to shop with. If we stopped for a snack, it was rare and usually small and/or we shared. I should be out shopping today, but I just didn’t feel like shopping alone.
That is not to say, I don’t appreciate all of my friends who I go out with to eat. The bonus to eating with friends is you eat slower and you get to talk – lots. I love that. It just means I need to spread out these dates. Last week, I had dinner out on Tuesday, there was cake at work on Wednesday, and I went out for lunch on Thursday. That is a lot of eating out. I could have done without the cake (should have said no to all three pieces over Wednesday and Thursday… Heehee), but the dinner and the lunch were good events to attend. I had fun, ate good food, have great conversations, and all that. Supper at my parents yesterday was fabulous – I love my mom’s homemade ukranian food!!! And today I am out to dinner with some friends. I love it. There is just part of me that says “ACK!!! Look at all those calories!! What are you doing?!?” Got to shut that beyotch up somehow! And not by shoving potato chips in her mouth.
Last night, we had some friends over for Rock Band - and we had fun! I put out some juice, a bag of chips, and some peeps (which since I was the only one who likes them, I ate them all.) We had over 3 hours of fun, talking and playing. I need more nights like that!
3. Food diaries should never be copied into an easily readable format. I spent 2 hours or so the other night typing in the last three weeks of food into my computer (because my writing is atrocious) and I was exhausted from doing that. Why – oh why – the torture! It was interesting in the beginning to do the food diary, but now – after 3 weeks, I am bored now. I am tired of documenting/estimating/measuring all my food. I am tired of counting how many potato chips I put into my mouth. One might state – stop eating potato chips and you no longer need to count. My response – Bite me!
The whole point of my lifestyle journey is to make changes, but still eat what I like to eat and no make foods bad. I already changed my diet to meet other restrictions and the resentment still burns, especially Coke Classic. The giving up of caffeine is probably my biggest resentment. I understand I needed to for health reasons, but there are days when I want caffeine; when I need a coke slurpee. I don’t want to add to that resentment by not eating things I like – like caramels, like potato chips, like dessert. So I need a plan that allows me this freedom. And so I believe in moderation, in the 80/20 rule. As long as you eat healthy 80% of the time, then you can have that 20% freedom to eat the not so healthy stuff.
My dad supposedly kept a food diary for two years. Part of me is fascinated with that and things what an interesting piece of work. The other part of me is horrified with all the work involved. I can acknowledge that it takes away some of the mindless eating. When you have to count/measure/estimate all of your food, you are less likely to shovel it into your mouth without thinking. I am not counting calories; I am just writing down what I have eaten and approximately when. I know you should also do mood at the time and whether you were actually hungry, but my brain is really good at convincing me, and my body, that we are hungry regardless. I can be not hungry, but start focusing on food, even sub-consciously, and suddenly my stomach says it is starving. And if my stomach says it is hungry, then I am going to feed it.
What I have figured out is what I really knew, but have ignored – I snack. A lot! And I think sometimes I snack instead of hydrating. Especially at work. I drink a lot more when I am home than I do at work. At work, I will reach for my fruit or veggies before reaching for my water bottle. Not good. I used to drink two 591mL bottles a day. As my stress levels rose, I found I drank less and less. There have been some days when I have not actually drunk a drop all day. I got all of my fluids from eating fruit, veggies, and my lunch. Not optimal. Also, because I snack at work in front of a computer, I find at home I am hungry as soon as I spend some time on my computer. At home, I don’t reach for the veggies or fruit, I reach for candy and chips. I have other snack food at work – granola bars, some caramels, some pringle sticks (the honey butter is to die for and all for 100 calories!) for in case I am craving carbs or protein. I rarely eat them though. I find I tend to reach for my fruit/veggies first. At home, I ignore the fridge and dive into the cupboards for food. I had a conversation with my brother about that yesterday and whether it should be in the house or not. We both agreed if it is not in the house, we will go out and buy it and then buy more than we actually came for. If it is in the house, then we will eat it. Which is worse? That – I haven’t figured out yet.
I am pretty good at not eating 2 hours before bed – though sometimes, this means I stay up a bit later than I should. And since I don’t go to bed at the same time, this can mean various eating times.
So my goal this week is to get back to drinking at least 1 bottle, preferably 2 bottles of water (flavored with crystal lite – of course) before I leave work. I should be drinking 1 bottle by lunch and the other by the end of the day. Maybe that will help with all the snacking.
My other goal is to get out of the office at least once a day. I am horrible for not taking my breaks if fave coworker is not around. Just because I hate walking alone, but I am not eager to go with certain other people either. I am slowly moving from my old job into the new one (that should start happening rather rapidly soon – since the other managers ganged up on mine and decided my work is not required. Part of me believes firmly in accountability and preventing errors before they happen and I really want to help people with that. Another part of me hopes they get in really deep doo-doo for all the errors that won’t be caught once I am no longer reviewing the work. The other areas I review all believe strongly that it is easier to ask for forgiveness that to ask for permission. I hope karma teaches them a really good lesson. Okay, need to let go of that bitterness.). So maybe with the new work and the new people I hang with, I can find someone else to walk with. Or maybe it will be such that I will just go do whatever to get out. I know there are a couple people around who do some really good long walks – I just don’t know if I am up to that. They do the stairs in the river valley at the end of the walk – unless you are going down (and sometimes even then), those things are torture devices!
I will figure it out. Things will all be good.
Anyway, I should go do a few chores around the house before I go out tonight, so until next time when I further analyze my journey or when I just share something really funky, take care…
posted by Taryn at 3:05 pm
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