You’re not smart. I’m not nice. Let’s not pretend.

I am exhausted. The last month or so have just been brutal. The last big deadline was today and I survived. Amazingly. I managed not to piss off too many people. Mind you, that could be because I keep doing far too much by myself. To my credit, I did set up to have help; however, the next day the person had a large workload dropped in his lap, so I am doing it all, all by myself. Sighhhh.

My overtime over the last 7 working days was 14 hours. That is the amount I claimed. Monday through Wednesday, I pretty much set myself up in front of the tv and worked on stuff until I went to bed. But that is all over with. In theory – things go back to normal again. Of course, the question is what is normal anymore? It has been so long since my job was not a bundle of chaos and stress.

This is how I described the week to some friends:
Monday was a two croissant donut day – I did not buy them nor eat them.

Tuesday was a 2L of coke and a bag of chips kind of day. I consumed neither.

Wednesday was a large blizzard day. I gave in and enjoyed it so much!!!

Thursday was yoga day – for an hour and a half, I let go of everything and focused on myself. Then I popped on the computer, caught up with my life, and went to bed late.

Tonight has been chip day – I can’t seem to get enough. I had chili cheese ones after work. I had jalapeno and cheddar ones after supper. But I am being good. Had a conversation with a co-worker about eating habits (because so many of us at work are trying to lose weight) and realized that while I often give into my cravings, I usually do so in a moderate way. And if I screw up and have, say, a large blizzard, my life isn’t ruined. I don’t continue the downward spiral, thinking the day is wasted anyway. I could have cooked up the loaf of garlic bread to go with the spaghetti dinner on Wednesday, but since I had a blizzard, I just had the spaghetti and there was no other snack. Isn’t that a better way of doing it? Or does this just making me a bored dud?

I can tell spring is coming. My mood has been picking up as we have had several days of sunshine. The snow was a bit of a downer, but it only lasted a day. The sun melted it all away so I barely had to shovel after work today. Yeah! I also have my overwhelming urge to get out and do things. Too bad this is tempered by my exhaustion. I really wanted to go out tonight – one friend is having a b-day dinner (Happy B-day N!); another is being set up at a multi-person dinner. Surely, I can go out with one of them and have some fun. Except after late nights and long days, I am just tired. My mind is excited and raring to go; my body is thinking a bath and bed sound like a great plan.

I have more to discuss, but I think my body is winning the war tonight. I think a bath and bed are going to be my goal. Perhaps tomorrow will be a higher energy day.