It’s like a fart with a lump in it.
Ahhhh, you would be surprised to learn this was not from my good friend A, but rather from a co-worker. Fave co-worker and I laughed so hard after this was said. Goes to show how well the meeting was going, eh?
A week of being run down and trying to get better. A week of feeling very lonely, but too tired to do anything about it. A week with so much to do and yet so little actually got done. Sighhhh.
Today was better. After finishing Still Alice, see prior post, I was so not in the mood to be alone. I called milady and thankfully, she dropped everything and we went shopping. I know one shouldn’t use shopping a mood lifter, but between that and getting some good talking in with milady, my mood was definitely improved. I bought a couple more Christmas presents (yes, I know it is still sickening), some Halloween stuff, and a new yoga mat. I debated between the pretty burgundy one with snowflakes or the thicker mat, but practicality won, and I got the thicker one.
Of course, I am alone again this evening. I really do need to get a life. I really do need to meet some people who are not involved in this dang LARP game. And someone who lives on the northside would be great, seeing as it is that time of year again when I can’t drive in the evenings.
Speaking of darkness, is it just me or does it seem darker earlier this year? I seriously feel all discombobulated this year. The dark seems earlier as does the cold. I feel like I need to put away all my summer stuff, but I just got it all out. I have so much I want to do, yet, despite being lonely and bored, I never actually get anything done. It feels worse this year. I really do need a holiday. Maybe this change in my job will be a good thing and I can get stuff done around the house. Maybe I can get off on time and come home and exercise again. Maybe my house and get organized and stay that way. Maybe D will help out. Maybe I just want the moon.
So how does a shy, introverted person meet new people? How does a person actually get out and do something? How does an adult make friends?
I mean I talk to people. I had an excellent conversation with a lady on the way home on the bus yesterday. We talked from my usual bus stop to where I get off. We laughed and shared stories and never were names mentioned. I still think it is weird how often this happens to me. Am I becoming like the SIL too much – too picky, too demanding, to set in my ways?
Oh – and no one has responded to the Celebration of the Dark Season invites yet. I know it is early yet, there is about a month until RSVPs are due, but what the??? I think it just goes with my loneliness and low self-esteem. I feel rejection even though I have not heard a yea or nay. Besides, what does it really matter? I am sure someone will show up, right? Goodness, I hope someone shows up. I still have to work on my costume and the soundtrack yet anyway, so no worrying about that.
Besides, I still have D’s family coming to visit and there are things I NEED to do before they show up. Like fix some blankets so no one freezes in the basement. Like get this place cleaned up and ready for parents to enter. They leave and we will be in full holiday mode – whoot! And there are things I want to do during the holidays, besides the annual dentist and doctor visits. Getting the flooring in would be nice. Which means I need to pack up the office.
And shows really start this week, so any of this loneliness will soon be filled with my fictional friends on the TV. My PVR is at 50%. ACK!!!! I had it down to 40%, but more movies, more shows. I need to get it cleaned off!!! I really need to look at the list of movies and see if I REALLY want to see them. If not, boom –they are deleted! Teehee.
Okay, that should be my next chore. So I will be off. I swear next time, I will have something interesting to post, like maybe a new recipe…
A week of being run down and trying to get better. A week of feeling very lonely, but too tired to do anything about it. A week with so much to do and yet so little actually got done. Sighhhh.
Today was better. After finishing Still Alice, see prior post, I was so not in the mood to be alone. I called milady and thankfully, she dropped everything and we went shopping. I know one shouldn’t use shopping a mood lifter, but between that and getting some good talking in with milady, my mood was definitely improved. I bought a couple more Christmas presents (yes, I know it is still sickening), some Halloween stuff, and a new yoga mat. I debated between the pretty burgundy one with snowflakes or the thicker mat, but practicality won, and I got the thicker one.
Of course, I am alone again this evening. I really do need to get a life. I really do need to meet some people who are not involved in this dang LARP game. And someone who lives on the northside would be great, seeing as it is that time of year again when I can’t drive in the evenings.
Speaking of darkness, is it just me or does it seem darker earlier this year? I seriously feel all discombobulated this year. The dark seems earlier as does the cold. I feel like I need to put away all my summer stuff, but I just got it all out. I have so much I want to do, yet, despite being lonely and bored, I never actually get anything done. It feels worse this year. I really do need a holiday. Maybe this change in my job will be a good thing and I can get stuff done around the house. Maybe I can get off on time and come home and exercise again. Maybe my house and get organized and stay that way. Maybe D will help out. Maybe I just want the moon.
So how does a shy, introverted person meet new people? How does a person actually get out and do something? How does an adult make friends?
I mean I talk to people. I had an excellent conversation with a lady on the way home on the bus yesterday. We talked from my usual bus stop to where I get off. We laughed and shared stories and never were names mentioned. I still think it is weird how often this happens to me. Am I becoming like the SIL too much – too picky, too demanding, to set in my ways?
Oh – and no one has responded to the Celebration of the Dark Season invites yet. I know it is early yet, there is about a month until RSVPs are due, but what the??? I think it just goes with my loneliness and low self-esteem. I feel rejection even though I have not heard a yea or nay. Besides, what does it really matter? I am sure someone will show up, right? Goodness, I hope someone shows up. I still have to work on my costume and the soundtrack yet anyway, so no worrying about that.
Besides, I still have D’s family coming to visit and there are things I NEED to do before they show up. Like fix some blankets so no one freezes in the basement. Like get this place cleaned up and ready for parents to enter. They leave and we will be in full holiday mode – whoot! And there are things I want to do during the holidays, besides the annual dentist and doctor visits. Getting the flooring in would be nice. Which means I need to pack up the office.
And shows really start this week, so any of this loneliness will soon be filled with my fictional friends on the TV. My PVR is at 50%. ACK!!!! I had it down to 40%, but more movies, more shows. I need to get it cleaned off!!! I really need to look at the list of movies and see if I REALLY want to see them. If not, boom –they are deleted! Teehee.
Okay, that should be my next chore. So I will be off. I swear next time, I will have something interesting to post, like maybe a new recipe…
posted by Taryn at 8:22 pm
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