Sometimes, I just feel so alone…

”I miss myself.”
“I miss you, too, Ali, so much.”
“I never planned to get like this.”
“I know.”

A co-worker lent Still Alice to me. She said this one had an impact on her and we briefly discussed the fears we both had of developing Alzheimer’s disease. I thought it was very interesting that two people, both with degrees and proud of our intelligence, would fear losing that intelligence so much. It has always been a worry of mine, especially as life goes on and I find myself wondering if I am as smart as I was once. Am I getting stupider? Am I letting my smarts go to waste? Would I lose myself if I lost my mind?

This book is the story of a woman still in her prime who discovers her faulty memory is not due to stress or age, but is rather the slowly being degraded by a harrowing disease. What seems like the simple act of forgetting becomes the scary reality of uncertainty. The book is told from Alice’s point of view, allowing you to really understand the fear, confusion, and perhaps, acceptance of early-onset Alzheimer’s. It is a hard book to read and yet, so hard to put down. I laughed and I cried, often. I agree with the protagonist’s view that it would be better to have cancer rather than Alzheimer’s. At least you have something that people can see effects of, that you can fight, and that doesn’t have a stigma behind it anymore.

I highly recommend anyone to read it, but be prepared to never forget it.