Cute but so freaking dangerous
Why do I do this to myself? Each time. I don’t really make plans, thinking that plans will miraculously appear on my doorstep and instead I end up doing nothing. I end up feeling very alone and wondering if this is one of those signs of insanity. You know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. The problem is every so often a different outcome occurs and it is fun and exciting. But most of the time, nothing happens and I feel alone. I keep telling myself not to anticipate things happening, but to do something about it. Then I get bogged down in the details and life continues plodding along.
Sorry, it has been a day and now into the evening alone. Leaves me very self-reflective.
The positive news is my office is done. Well, the reno part of it is done. The walls are beautiful with their colors and the new desk is gorgeous. Well, under all the stuff. I spent the day organizing the office and trying to get things into a place. The problem with a new desk is it doesn’t have the same features as the old desk, so I cannot just throw things where it used to be. I have no hutch. I have no single drawer or sliding keyboard spot. Nope. I have new sets of drawers, but I still have to figure out where I want everything. It is like moving into a new home. It is going to take a few months to get it all figured out. I haven’t brought down the crafting stuff for the other half of the desk yet. And the closet has nothing in it. Literally. We removed the bar and the single shelf. Since I had a lot of crap stored in there, I need a new idea for it.
There is a large pile of filing to do though. Since my office has been packed up since last October, no filing has been done - that is almost a year’s worth of filing to sort through. Sighhhh. Hence the break to write a new entry. The office is also the reason I haven’t done an entry in a while. Pretty much, I have been rushing home to do stuff around the house, whether it be renos or the other stuff needing to be completed around the house. While I appreciated the coolness of the basement this last month, I really didn’t like being down there. I always felt like I had to have the house closed up if I was in the basement and that is not really conducive to cooling the house down.
Other positives, all the doof diary – er – food diary input is helping. I am still not the biggest fan of my dietician; I think she could more effort into helping me. It would be nice if she actually looked at the info I provide beforehand and perhaps had something more to say than – how does it relate to the plate? Her repetitive use of that question makes me question her education. I am beginning to think she doesn’t really know what to do with me. In September, I see the exercise person. That should be interesting. I have been walking at least once a day while at work, but I have not done any dedicated stuff at home. I have been blaming renos and the heat, which is most of the reason, but I am also bored. Bored with exercising, bored with my life, just bored.
Despite the boredom, or maybe it is part of the package, my sex drive has been through the roof. Yeah, yeah, the squeamish types can skip this paragraph. But I just gotta say, “Universe, I really could use some assistance with that harem of mine.” I am very happy it is going like crazy again, but I would be happier if I had more outlets for this energy. And I could totally get on board with using sex as my dedicated exercise. Teehee.
Work is okay. I am not nearly as busy as before, which means less stress and I definitely get off on time now. It also means there is a lack of initiative to do things. This job really is about 25% of what I used to do and it seems it takes even longer to get things approved. Honestly, I created a document that would be very useful. My new team reviewed it. I had a couple people in the other unit to test it to ensure it would work for them. Then I got told the higher up of that unit needed to approve it. I sent it off to her. Then she said that middle management needed to approve it. I sent it out. I had a timeline. 75% of them replied in that time frame. Then it got suggested by the higher up that we should have a conference call. That was two weeks ago. It has been rescheduled to two weeks from now. Oh. My. Goodness. My patience is pretty much at the end. I wanted this out almost two months ago. It is needed right now. And then there is the pilot project they want to do. I get we are a new division. But we have existed since April and we have been encouraging people to deal with us since then. Don’t try to tell us that as of October, we will have to say no to specific people because they are not part of the pilot project. That is a HUGE step backwards. It is just so frustrating. It is better than my last job, but I guess I got used to being really productive at that job and now… I feel like I am not so much.
I am guessing a lot of the boredom in my life is both from my work and my home life. I spend so much time ‘alone’ at work, seeing as I am the only person in my division in the office – I am part of a virtual team. Then I come home and I spend so much time alone. I am a very interesting person, but sometimes I shouldn’t spend so much time with myself. I get to thinking and as Gaston said, it is a dangerous pastime. I start thinking about different things and questioning things and occasionally my filter disappears and the questions slip out to friends. Heehee… oops! I am a very curious person, but I often let my filters keep my mouth shut. That is not necessarily a good thing. Interesting is my filters never used to exist when it came to anything sexual, but now I tend not to ask all the questions in my mind. Probably a good thing for most of my friends, but I miss that part of me. Now I coach my questions, if I ask them at all.
Anyway, J totally saved me today and took me out to the Lantern Parade at Kaleido. It was kinda funky. Saw an artist at the gallery that both she and I liked. Amazing work, exquisite detail, beautiful colors. The parade was interesting – lampshade people on stilts and bird-like people on stilts. Then a gorgeous mosquito dragon. Some of the lanterns were cool. There is more going on tomorrow on 118th avenue, so go on down if you are interested. Lots of free music. Pancake breakfast at 10. It is also going on Sunday. Then when we got back to my place, the Northern Lights were dancing like crazy across the sky. They were just stunning and they remind me why I live in Edmonton.
Now, it is quite late, so I am off to bed. More filing and cleaning to do tomorrow. And perhaps some tidying of the basement. Perhaps a trip to a health and wellness show. Perhaps I shall spend the day in my pjs, watching tv. Who knows.
Sorry, it has been a day and now into the evening alone. Leaves me very self-reflective.
The positive news is my office is done. Well, the reno part of it is done. The walls are beautiful with their colors and the new desk is gorgeous. Well, under all the stuff. I spent the day organizing the office and trying to get things into a place. The problem with a new desk is it doesn’t have the same features as the old desk, so I cannot just throw things where it used to be. I have no hutch. I have no single drawer or sliding keyboard spot. Nope. I have new sets of drawers, but I still have to figure out where I want everything. It is like moving into a new home. It is going to take a few months to get it all figured out. I haven’t brought down the crafting stuff for the other half of the desk yet. And the closet has nothing in it. Literally. We removed the bar and the single shelf. Since I had a lot of crap stored in there, I need a new idea for it.
There is a large pile of filing to do though. Since my office has been packed up since last October, no filing has been done - that is almost a year’s worth of filing to sort through. Sighhhh. Hence the break to write a new entry. The office is also the reason I haven’t done an entry in a while. Pretty much, I have been rushing home to do stuff around the house, whether it be renos or the other stuff needing to be completed around the house. While I appreciated the coolness of the basement this last month, I really didn’t like being down there. I always felt like I had to have the house closed up if I was in the basement and that is not really conducive to cooling the house down.
Other positives, all the doof diary – er – food diary input is helping. I am still not the biggest fan of my dietician; I think she could more effort into helping me. It would be nice if she actually looked at the info I provide beforehand and perhaps had something more to say than – how does it relate to the plate? Her repetitive use of that question makes me question her education. I am beginning to think she doesn’t really know what to do with me. In September, I see the exercise person. That should be interesting. I have been walking at least once a day while at work, but I have not done any dedicated stuff at home. I have been blaming renos and the heat, which is most of the reason, but I am also bored. Bored with exercising, bored with my life, just bored.
Despite the boredom, or maybe it is part of the package, my sex drive has been through the roof. Yeah, yeah, the squeamish types can skip this paragraph. But I just gotta say, “Universe, I really could use some assistance with that harem of mine.” I am very happy it is going like crazy again, but I would be happier if I had more outlets for this energy. And I could totally get on board with using sex as my dedicated exercise. Teehee.
Work is okay. I am not nearly as busy as before, which means less stress and I definitely get off on time now. It also means there is a lack of initiative to do things. This job really is about 25% of what I used to do and it seems it takes even longer to get things approved. Honestly, I created a document that would be very useful. My new team reviewed it. I had a couple people in the other unit to test it to ensure it would work for them. Then I got told the higher up of that unit needed to approve it. I sent it off to her. Then she said that middle management needed to approve it. I sent it out. I had a timeline. 75% of them replied in that time frame. Then it got suggested by the higher up that we should have a conference call. That was two weeks ago. It has been rescheduled to two weeks from now. Oh. My. Goodness. My patience is pretty much at the end. I wanted this out almost two months ago. It is needed right now. And then there is the pilot project they want to do. I get we are a new division. But we have existed since April and we have been encouraging people to deal with us since then. Don’t try to tell us that as of October, we will have to say no to specific people because they are not part of the pilot project. That is a HUGE step backwards. It is just so frustrating. It is better than my last job, but I guess I got used to being really productive at that job and now… I feel like I am not so much.
I am guessing a lot of the boredom in my life is both from my work and my home life. I spend so much time ‘alone’ at work, seeing as I am the only person in my division in the office – I am part of a virtual team. Then I come home and I spend so much time alone. I am a very interesting person, but sometimes I shouldn’t spend so much time with myself. I get to thinking and as Gaston said, it is a dangerous pastime. I start thinking about different things and questioning things and occasionally my filter disappears and the questions slip out to friends. Heehee… oops! I am a very curious person, but I often let my filters keep my mouth shut. That is not necessarily a good thing. Interesting is my filters never used to exist when it came to anything sexual, but now I tend not to ask all the questions in my mind. Probably a good thing for most of my friends, but I miss that part of me. Now I coach my questions, if I ask them at all.
Anyway, J totally saved me today and took me out to the Lantern Parade at Kaleido. It was kinda funky. Saw an artist at the gallery that both she and I liked. Amazing work, exquisite detail, beautiful colors. The parade was interesting – lampshade people on stilts and bird-like people on stilts. Then a gorgeous mosquito dragon. Some of the lanterns were cool. There is more going on tomorrow on 118th avenue, so go on down if you are interested. Lots of free music. Pancake breakfast at 10. It is also going on Sunday. Then when we got back to my place, the Northern Lights were dancing like crazy across the sky. They were just stunning and they remind me why I live in Edmonton.
Now, it is quite late, so I am off to bed. More filing and cleaning to do tomorrow. And perhaps some tidying of the basement. Perhaps a trip to a health and wellness show. Perhaps I shall spend the day in my pjs, watching tv. Who knows.
Labels: life
posted by Taryn at 11:47 pm
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