We deal with our mind from morning till evening, and it can be our best friend or our worst enemy. –Mathieu Ricard

Hope everyone is doing well in these ever uncertain times. I read an interesting article today that our surge capacity is depleted

How do you adjust to an ever-changing situation where the “new normal” is indefinite uncertainty?

It makes sense. The ebb and flow of good days and bad. The clinging to routines and the despondent desire to just do nothing. The sudden fountain of energy that keeps you going for a few hours or a few days. Followed by the feeling of why does it matter – who is going to notice your house is a mess if no one can come over. Who is going to notice if your roots are showing, your cuticle are a mess, you started wearing elastic waist pants.

I looked into my eyes after work on Friday and this thought popped into my head – my eyes are so sad. Sure it was a tough work week and I’ve done so much overtime, these past two weeks especially. I should have been happy – it was the weekend. I could spoil myself, do stuff on my own time table, watch whatever I wanted as late as I wanted. And all I really wanted was a hug and a shoulder to catch the tears.

So many things have been going on and yet at the same time… nothing has happened. I see my parents every couple months; I saw my brother and his family a couple months ago (the first time since Christmas). I go to work, then am off work – there’s no commute. I watch tv and do gardening. The changes are not big but at the same time, they have an impact. I barely see my friends – they live far away, are working, and/or are taking of kids who are at home. Most of us are introverts and our downtime is recovery time and that is usually alone or with family. I watch some people increase their bubble or seemingly ignore it and there is a part of me that is jealous. The other part of me is far too health concerned and law abiding.

I don’t shop anymore really. I have a few stores I go to regularly – mostly groceries, Michael’s, and London drugs, but regularly means every couple weeks, I go to one or two of them. I used to go to the mall and window shop – just to get steps, to interact with people, to see what was going on in the world. Now my world is my yard and my house. Occasionally, I take a walk around the block.

And I’m sick of cooking – even with trying to eat out once a week (to support our local restaurants), it is just too much with every meal being at home. And the weather has been so weird – so hot this year and so moist. Blech. My garden is doing weird things and I just feel like I’m totally out of touch with the world, the time of year, and myself.

I feel like I normally due in February. Where I have this pent up energy that I want to direct somewhere, but there’s no place to direct it yet. I need to find somewhere to direct it – safely and productively. I know- I have such expectations. Teehee.

I watched a couple of good series on Netflix recently: Umbrella Academy was weird and good. Tales of the City – the 2020 season – it was good. I’m trying to watch the original series now from 1993 – it’s a little harder to get into. Bonding was hilarious and really good –and it was short. A second season is coming. Valeria was very interesting and hot – I need me a Victor and maybe a Lola. Lucifer is back – can’t wait to see the latest season. On regular TV, I’m watching Star Trek Lower Decks – which is funny. I was enjoying Hot Mess – but there were only 4 of them. And Design at Your Door was an interesting premise, but again, there weren’t many of them. Now I’m watching Selena + chef on HBO – where Selena Gomez learns how to cook from famous chefs. I’m enjoying that one. The Korean tacos looked so good, though the ingredient list was huge and then he showed cheater donuts… yum. And I got caught up on the final season of You Me Her.

Anyway, I just wanted to reach out and share my thoughts. I’m sure everyone is struggling in their way with this pandemic. Stay safe please.