Stress… It’s a killer.
There was a time when I had hope. When I saw a light at the end of the tunnel, when my brass ring was within reach, when there was a semblance of a chance at a life… I’m not sure where it all went. I struggle every day to make it through the day – keeping the smile on my face, encouraging my coworkers, being the flexible, reward based task master as we try to get through these ridiculous time lines.
Senior management talks about work-life balance and then turns around and asks if you can work more hours at night and on the weekends. It’s just for a short time. Soon we will be back to normal – do you honestly think we are buying this?
This year just keeps filling up with priority after priority and I can feel that my health, my life, my mental state is being affected. My sleep is so wonky – I often wake up at odd hours dreaming about work. And once the brain starts, I just can’t get it to stop. So I lie in bed trying to focus on my breathing, pretend my thoughts are clouds and they are just floating past – except it’s like there is a storm on the horizon as they race past me. I get vertigo just watching them.
On the positive side, my office has the best attitude. Even though we are stressed and frustrated, we still laugh and try to support each other. The other offices are miserable and they are determined to take everyone down with them. We respond to rewards – homemade banana bread, candy, bought lunches. We give each other kudos when due. We try to help each other. We sing and do dance parties. It is amazing sometimes what we do to keep ourselves going.
My boss has approved my holidays. Thank goodness. Just a couple more weeks to go and I am off for two glorious weeks. What are my plans? Same as they are this weekend:
1. Sleep
2. Sleep
3. Eat
4. Sleep
5. Work on the yard
6. Sleep
7. Do some shopping
8. Sleep
9. Hang with friends
10. Sleep some more
I need my friends so much, but I feel like I am just going to have verbal diarrhea if I see anyone. Poor K at work gets to listen to me the few times we see each other at work. And breaks – I am locking the door at lunch to get people out of the room so we get a break. Some people are working around this, but at least I’m getting out. So many days though my head just thinks “I want a hug.”
Unfortunately, the break I am taking is usually to walk somewhere to buy food. I am eating out every weekday. Not only is this expensive, but hello – calories!?! The bonus is I am trying some of the food trucks. The bad news I am never going to get healthier at this rate. I have these grandiose plans to exercise when I get home- it will release stress and get the good chemicals flowing. Except after working 10-12 hour days, I’m exhausted. The last two blocks home are so hard. It takes all my energy to lift my feet and honestly, sometimes, it is merely the motion of my arms swinging back and forth that keeps me shuffling. I end up bargaining with myself – just two more blocks and we will walk in the door, take off our shoes, our socks, our work clothes. Two more blocks and we will walk in the door, take off our shoes, our socks and we will sit down and do nothing. One and a half blocks and we will walk in the door, take off our shoes, our socks, and we will do something that does not require thinking. One more block – it’s so close and then we can take off our shoes, our socks, we can sit, we can relax, we can just sit and hear and think and do nothing. Just a few more houses…
I only took home a document to provide feedback on this weekend. Thank goodness. I put in about 12 hours of overtime this week – and Monday was a holiday! Oy!
I want this to get better. I want this to calm down a bit. I want senior management to back off. I want some push back about ridiculous timelines and speeches about work-life balance.
The recent quotes I found that made me smile:
I need things that make me smile.
Anyway – time to implement my weekend plans and sleep. Whoohoo!
Senior management talks about work-life balance and then turns around and asks if you can work more hours at night and on the weekends. It’s just for a short time. Soon we will be back to normal – do you honestly think we are buying this?
This year just keeps filling up with priority after priority and I can feel that my health, my life, my mental state is being affected. My sleep is so wonky – I often wake up at odd hours dreaming about work. And once the brain starts, I just can’t get it to stop. So I lie in bed trying to focus on my breathing, pretend my thoughts are clouds and they are just floating past – except it’s like there is a storm on the horizon as they race past me. I get vertigo just watching them.
On the positive side, my office has the best attitude. Even though we are stressed and frustrated, we still laugh and try to support each other. The other offices are miserable and they are determined to take everyone down with them. We respond to rewards – homemade banana bread, candy, bought lunches. We give each other kudos when due. We try to help each other. We sing and do dance parties. It is amazing sometimes what we do to keep ourselves going.
My boss has approved my holidays. Thank goodness. Just a couple more weeks to go and I am off for two glorious weeks. What are my plans? Same as they are this weekend:
1. Sleep
2. Sleep
3. Eat
4. Sleep
5. Work on the yard
6. Sleep
7. Do some shopping
8. Sleep
9. Hang with friends
10. Sleep some more
I need my friends so much, but I feel like I am just going to have verbal diarrhea if I see anyone. Poor K at work gets to listen to me the few times we see each other at work. And breaks – I am locking the door at lunch to get people out of the room so we get a break. Some people are working around this, but at least I’m getting out. So many days though my head just thinks “I want a hug.”
Unfortunately, the break I am taking is usually to walk somewhere to buy food. I am eating out every weekday. Not only is this expensive, but hello – calories!?! The bonus is I am trying some of the food trucks. The bad news I am never going to get healthier at this rate. I have these grandiose plans to exercise when I get home- it will release stress and get the good chemicals flowing. Except after working 10-12 hour days, I’m exhausted. The last two blocks home are so hard. It takes all my energy to lift my feet and honestly, sometimes, it is merely the motion of my arms swinging back and forth that keeps me shuffling. I end up bargaining with myself – just two more blocks and we will walk in the door, take off our shoes, our socks, our work clothes. Two more blocks and we will walk in the door, take off our shoes, our socks and we will sit down and do nothing. One and a half blocks and we will walk in the door, take off our shoes, our socks, and we will do something that does not require thinking. One more block – it’s so close and then we can take off our shoes, our socks, we can sit, we can relax, we can just sit and hear and think and do nothing. Just a few more houses…
I only took home a document to provide feedback on this weekend. Thank goodness. I put in about 12 hours of overtime this week – and Monday was a holiday! Oy!
I want this to get better. I want this to calm down a bit. I want senior management to back off. I want some push back about ridiculous timelines and speeches about work-life balance.
The recent quotes I found that made me smile:
I'm a little smart assOR
Short and stout
Here is my finger
Here is my mouth
When I get all worked up
I will shout
Piss me off and
I'll cuss you out.
Staying quiet doesn't mean I have nothing to say. It means I don't think you're ready to hear my thoughts.
I need things that make me smile.
Anyway – time to implement my weekend plans and sleep. Whoohoo!
Labels: life, quote of the day
posted by Taryn at 11:42 pm
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