Too tired to think...
Tonight I was supposed to go out and spend some time with L, do a girl night kind of thing. As is life, things happened and the choice arose whether we should go anyway (dragging a kid along) or just postpone. I got the impression that postponing would be a better choice and I was in the depressive mood to just say whatever and so we cancelled. Big mistake. I got home around 6 to find out that D (who was working late) would also be going out with friends afterwards and so I was alone. I tried calling milady, but no such luck. So I sit home alone, kind of depressed. It is nothing specific, it has just be a hard week (I am training all alone this week) and I guess I was really looking forward to going out and chillin’.
It is probably good I stayed home - D’s father is coming over tomorrow and on Sat both parentals are coming by, so I did do the dishes, tidy things up and just generally made the house a little more parental-friendly. Can’t change the pics – well, I could, but screw that. Ndie loved the new pics and the more I look at them, the more they impress me. They fit the house and me so well. Heehee.
Training is going…okay. I finally caught up today. I am working with people who have not used the program at all. They have absolutely no background and I have 4 days to not only teach them the program but how to navigate the corresponding system. Tomorrow is the assessment and I think I may be able to get half to pass. How totally sucky. And two of them are such downers. One is definitely worse and was definitely responsible for my depressive mood this morning. I am generally a happy person, but I am also an empath so I tend to absorb people’s moods around me. I have worked really hard in resisting, but sometimes, they just overpower and I went from feeling okay, to hopeless, because all I heard for the first hour and a half was “I can’t, I’m not able, I should have called in sick, I should leave” and so on. I really wanted to just scream - try it first before you give up. Argh! After the first break where I sat down with a supervisor to just vent, I returned feeling a bit better and the ‘can’t’ person had changed her tune a bit. I get that it is hard, especially for people who are counting down to retirement, but try, figure it out, listen to me. Argh! Anyway, letting that go.
I am exhausted too which doesn’t help. I have been up an hour earlier that normal every day, we are still recovering from the minor flood of Sunday evening and I have no days off in which I am alone. No days to do what I want, when I want, how I want. No days to relax or be busy depending on my mood. No days to sleep in without anyone to interrupt me with snoring. I am feeling sorry for myself. Heehee. I know soon I will be lonely because for a little while, I will have no one to interrupt my sleep with snoring, but I value my days alone, even if they are filled to the brim with chores or visiting or whatever. I just need those mornings. I soooo need those mornings. Sighhh. Oh well, I will just have to suck it up and deal.
Jericho – is anyone watching? Wow – what an ending. I am so upset with who died, but the season ending was like – huh – no- what happens – ack!
I am going to go to bed though. I am exhausted and am falling asleep in my computer chair. Whew! Keep your thought positive for me tomorrow. I would really like all of my participants to pass assessment. I know they can do it, I just need to convince them that they can.
It is probably good I stayed home - D’s father is coming over tomorrow and on Sat both parentals are coming by, so I did do the dishes, tidy things up and just generally made the house a little more parental-friendly. Can’t change the pics – well, I could, but screw that. Ndie loved the new pics and the more I look at them, the more they impress me. They fit the house and me so well. Heehee.
Training is going…okay. I finally caught up today. I am working with people who have not used the program at all. They have absolutely no background and I have 4 days to not only teach them the program but how to navigate the corresponding system. Tomorrow is the assessment and I think I may be able to get half to pass. How totally sucky. And two of them are such downers. One is definitely worse and was definitely responsible for my depressive mood this morning. I am generally a happy person, but I am also an empath so I tend to absorb people’s moods around me. I have worked really hard in resisting, but sometimes, they just overpower and I went from feeling okay, to hopeless, because all I heard for the first hour and a half was “I can’t, I’m not able, I should have called in sick, I should leave” and so on. I really wanted to just scream - try it first before you give up. Argh! After the first break where I sat down with a supervisor to just vent, I returned feeling a bit better and the ‘can’t’ person had changed her tune a bit. I get that it is hard, especially for people who are counting down to retirement, but try, figure it out, listen to me. Argh! Anyway, letting that go.
I am exhausted too which doesn’t help. I have been up an hour earlier that normal every day, we are still recovering from the minor flood of Sunday evening and I have no days off in which I am alone. No days to do what I want, when I want, how I want. No days to relax or be busy depending on my mood. No days to sleep in without anyone to interrupt me with snoring. I am feeling sorry for myself. Heehee. I know soon I will be lonely because for a little while, I will have no one to interrupt my sleep with snoring, but I value my days alone, even if they are filled to the brim with chores or visiting or whatever. I just need those mornings. I soooo need those mornings. Sighhh. Oh well, I will just have to suck it up and deal.
Jericho – is anyone watching? Wow – what an ending. I am so upset with who died, but the season ending was like – huh – no- what happens – ack!
I am going to go to bed though. I am exhausted and am falling asleep in my computer chair. Whew! Keep your thought positive for me tomorrow. I would really like all of my participants to pass assessment. I know they can do it, I just need to convince them that they can.
posted by Taryn at 9:39 pm
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