You know, maybe if you ate more comfort food, you wouldn’t have to go around shooting people. – Lost
Would you like to know what I have been spending some of my free time doing –
The first is a wonderful doublet (I had an awesome pick of the front, but in my haste to clean out the memory in my camera, I pressed the wrong button and deleted it. It is being worn at the moment and therefore I can’t capture the picture again.) I believe the words tonight when I showed D the doublet with the new sleeves was “that is f***in awesome!” The second costume is not quite done and it is my take on Assassin’s Creed 2. I don’t think it has turned out all that bad, considering I did not have a pattern. So far I have done the cowl, the tabard, and the side cloak. Still to do - a lower piece and a belt.
Aside from that, time is just passing and I feel like I have little to show. Keeping this house tidy is so time consuming – well, that and keeping up on my shows. Sheesh! A co-worker asked what I was going to do this weekend and my response was “watch tv.” I mean, really?!? The weather is gorgeous and I am inside watching tv and trying to get the PVR back to a decent amount. Thankfully, it is under 80% right now, so I feel well enough to get to the computer and do some fun stuff on here.
Tomorrow the plan is hopefully to wash the cars, perhaps roto-till the garden, wash dishes, watch some more tv, and go to bed early.
I can’t wait until Monday night. That is when the next batch of deadlines is for work. Come Tuesday things are what they are. Too bad so sad if you didn’t meet the deadline. Whew! Of course, I have to make it til then. Thank goodness yoga has been extended to June.
Speaking of yoga – I love this class. There are so many weeks when the only thing getting me through is yoga. 90 minutes of me time – time to focus on my body, my mind – time to relax. Just thinking of it makes me start to relax some.
A&J lent me an excellent book – Such a Pretty Fat (by Jen Lancaster). The book is about the author’s journey in weight loss. When I started reading it, I so identified with the author right away. She has my sarcastic sense of humor. It was very interesting reading. I am in that journey myself and feeling the doldrums; the growing want to do something being defeated by the lack of motivation to do it. I walk. I get my 10,000 steps Monday through Friday. I try not to eat excessively. And still I hover. I am getting back into the habit of leaving work on time, which leads to exercising when I get home. Then the weekend comes and the steps decrease and the food decreases, but still the weight staggers. I bought two new jackets – one for winter and one for spring. Both are much smaller sizes than I expected, which made me very happy. So I know the inches are coming off. Why aren’t the numbers on the scale moving in a downward direction?
There are so many things I still want to do. Like with my weight, I am just not overly motivated to do them. One would say it could be depression. But I don’t feel depressed. A little lonely, a lot horny, a bit overwhelmed, but not depressed. I am feeling lost a bit I think. Both at home and at work. So much to do that I just can’t figure out where to start. D and I were talking about Hoarders and I was trying to explain how someone could get to the point they are on the show. How so much of the time it starts with being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start, so instead you don’t start. You put it off. Things get worse and while you acknowledge the problem, you are just so overwhelmed you can’t start. I feel like I am at the edges of that. I empathize with these people. I know I could easily become someone like that. Sometimes I feel like I am going down that road. So I start a project and I try, but there always gets to be a point where you stumble – some memory grabs you or you get bored or overwhelmed and then you stop. It’s like one step forward and two back. The goal is going forward, so at least I am trying.
I just feel like a year ago I was in a good place – I knew my job; I had my routines; I was organized. Then my job got played around with and I got to a point where I seriously felt like I was burning out. Then my job was played around with again and it has taken so long to get to a point where I can leave at the right time. But I still don’t feel organized. And this has completely spilled over into my home life. And in yoga being on chore night and suddenly, I can’t seem to get things done. Add in the trip right at Christmas and I feel so far behind in everything. It seems everyone has such exciting lives that take them out of the house and I rarely go anywhere. I don’t feel like I can. There is so much I need to do. If I could just return to that point where things seemed to make sense, where things seemed to get done, where it felt like I could have a life. That’s where I would like to be.
Alright – enough self reflection. Again. Teehee.
Big surprise, but I do have some things I need to get done yet, so until next time…
The first is a wonderful doublet (I had an awesome pick of the front, but in my haste to clean out the memory in my camera, I pressed the wrong button and deleted it. It is being worn at the moment and therefore I can’t capture the picture again.) I believe the words tonight when I showed D the doublet with the new sleeves was “that is f***in awesome!” The second costume is not quite done and it is my take on Assassin’s Creed 2. I don’t think it has turned out all that bad, considering I did not have a pattern. So far I have done the cowl, the tabard, and the side cloak. Still to do - a lower piece and a belt.
Aside from that, time is just passing and I feel like I have little to show. Keeping this house tidy is so time consuming – well, that and keeping up on my shows. Sheesh! A co-worker asked what I was going to do this weekend and my response was “watch tv.” I mean, really?!? The weather is gorgeous and I am inside watching tv and trying to get the PVR back to a decent amount. Thankfully, it is under 80% right now, so I feel well enough to get to the computer and do some fun stuff on here.
Tomorrow the plan is hopefully to wash the cars, perhaps roto-till the garden, wash dishes, watch some more tv, and go to bed early.
I can’t wait until Monday night. That is when the next batch of deadlines is for work. Come Tuesday things are what they are. Too bad so sad if you didn’t meet the deadline. Whew! Of course, I have to make it til then. Thank goodness yoga has been extended to June.
Speaking of yoga – I love this class. There are so many weeks when the only thing getting me through is yoga. 90 minutes of me time – time to focus on my body, my mind – time to relax. Just thinking of it makes me start to relax some.
A&J lent me an excellent book – Such a Pretty Fat (by Jen Lancaster). The book is about the author’s journey in weight loss. When I started reading it, I so identified with the author right away. She has my sarcastic sense of humor. It was very interesting reading. I am in that journey myself and feeling the doldrums; the growing want to do something being defeated by the lack of motivation to do it. I walk. I get my 10,000 steps Monday through Friday. I try not to eat excessively. And still I hover. I am getting back into the habit of leaving work on time, which leads to exercising when I get home. Then the weekend comes and the steps decrease and the food decreases, but still the weight staggers. I bought two new jackets – one for winter and one for spring. Both are much smaller sizes than I expected, which made me very happy. So I know the inches are coming off. Why aren’t the numbers on the scale moving in a downward direction?
There are so many things I still want to do. Like with my weight, I am just not overly motivated to do them. One would say it could be depression. But I don’t feel depressed. A little lonely, a lot horny, a bit overwhelmed, but not depressed. I am feeling lost a bit I think. Both at home and at work. So much to do that I just can’t figure out where to start. D and I were talking about Hoarders and I was trying to explain how someone could get to the point they are on the show. How so much of the time it starts with being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start, so instead you don’t start. You put it off. Things get worse and while you acknowledge the problem, you are just so overwhelmed you can’t start. I feel like I am at the edges of that. I empathize with these people. I know I could easily become someone like that. Sometimes I feel like I am going down that road. So I start a project and I try, but there always gets to be a point where you stumble – some memory grabs you or you get bored or overwhelmed and then you stop. It’s like one step forward and two back. The goal is going forward, so at least I am trying.
I just feel like a year ago I was in a good place – I knew my job; I had my routines; I was organized. Then my job got played around with and I got to a point where I seriously felt like I was burning out. Then my job was played around with again and it has taken so long to get to a point where I can leave at the right time. But I still don’t feel organized. And this has completely spilled over into my home life. And in yoga being on chore night and suddenly, I can’t seem to get things done. Add in the trip right at Christmas and I feel so far behind in everything. It seems everyone has such exciting lives that take them out of the house and I rarely go anywhere. I don’t feel like I can. There is so much I need to do. If I could just return to that point where things seemed to make sense, where things seemed to get done, where it felt like I could have a life. That’s where I would like to be.
Alright – enough self reflection. Again. Teehee.
Big surprise, but I do have some things I need to get done yet, so until next time…
Labels: books, life, quote of the day
posted by Taryn at 10:48 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home