An introspective load of carp...
I have been having very weird dreams lately about my partner leaving me and/or cheating on me. According an online dream dictionary,
Since my actions to and with the opposite sex as of late have been very limited, I cannot see this being a problem. And I don’t think I have been feeling a lack of attention from my partner recently, in fact I know we have been very open about our feelings and needs, okay, I have been open, but there has been actively listening and conversation from both sides. Heehee.
It could very well be that I am not feeling like I am measuring up to the expectations of others. Goodness knows, the stress in my life recently has been pretty high and I have been quite quiet about discussing it with others. Other than D and ndie, I haven’t really gone into deep detail about what is happening at work. Plus Spring is just around the corner, and I am antsy for stuff to do (I just don’t know what).
I know I have felt like my group of friends has narrowed, which is both bad and good. Bad because I feel like I have very few people I can call and invite over or just hang out with or chat with and I tend to feel like I am imposing on their lives if I call too often. Good because the friends I do have are awesome people that I have developed a deeper bond with.
This winter has been a different winter for me. Usually, I hole up for the winter, go to/host very few parties, maybe game every weekend of so, but otherwise, I am totally fine to be left alone. I have hobbies to keep me busy, books that I collected over the summer that I want to read, projects that are waiting for me to do. Then Spring comes and around March/April, I pop my head back into the world and start being sociable again. This winter, I have had a lot on my plate, both work-wise and social-wise. I have been quite busy, just trying to stay in touch with people and I haven’t really been reading as much as I normally would and I have already complained about my lack of hobbies, or even lack of interest in my usual hobbies. I know that these sound like signs of depression. But I don’t feel depressed. Part of me is very resentful because most of my coping mechanisms have been taken away from me and I haven’t found something to replace them with. I haven’t had caffeine in so long, and a big coke Slurpee was my favorite drink on a really stressful day. Food was a big coping mechanism of mine, whether it be comfort food or the ability to just curl up with a good book and a bag of chips and just relax. Of course, this is not healthy food, so nowadays, my head just nixes everything and I am left craving something, but there is nothing to satisfy.
I don’t know – maybe I am depressed and I just don’t know it. Is that possible? Goodness knows, y’all should be sick of my winding speeches about my life. Alright, enough ‘deep thoughts’ for today. I should go figure out what is wrong with my computer since my grammar check and spell check haven’t been working today (note: please forgive all spelling and grammar errors. Heehee).
If you dream of cheating in any manner, either by you, or by your loved one, then this is a direct warning for you to be more circumspect about your actions to and with the opposite sex. To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel some lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others.
Since my actions to and with the opposite sex as of late have been very limited, I cannot see this being a problem. And I don’t think I have been feeling a lack of attention from my partner recently, in fact I know we have been very open about our feelings and needs, okay, I have been open, but there has been actively listening and conversation from both sides. Heehee.
It could very well be that I am not feeling like I am measuring up to the expectations of others. Goodness knows, the stress in my life recently has been pretty high and I have been quite quiet about discussing it with others. Other than D and ndie, I haven’t really gone into deep detail about what is happening at work. Plus Spring is just around the corner, and I am antsy for stuff to do (I just don’t know what).
I know I have felt like my group of friends has narrowed, which is both bad and good. Bad because I feel like I have very few people I can call and invite over or just hang out with or chat with and I tend to feel like I am imposing on their lives if I call too often. Good because the friends I do have are awesome people that I have developed a deeper bond with.
This winter has been a different winter for me. Usually, I hole up for the winter, go to/host very few parties, maybe game every weekend of so, but otherwise, I am totally fine to be left alone. I have hobbies to keep me busy, books that I collected over the summer that I want to read, projects that are waiting for me to do. Then Spring comes and around March/April, I pop my head back into the world and start being sociable again. This winter, I have had a lot on my plate, both work-wise and social-wise. I have been quite busy, just trying to stay in touch with people and I haven’t really been reading as much as I normally would and I have already complained about my lack of hobbies, or even lack of interest in my usual hobbies. I know that these sound like signs of depression. But I don’t feel depressed. Part of me is very resentful because most of my coping mechanisms have been taken away from me and I haven’t found something to replace them with. I haven’t had caffeine in so long, and a big coke Slurpee was my favorite drink on a really stressful day. Food was a big coping mechanism of mine, whether it be comfort food or the ability to just curl up with a good book and a bag of chips and just relax. Of course, this is not healthy food, so nowadays, my head just nixes everything and I am left craving something, but there is nothing to satisfy.
I don’t know – maybe I am depressed and I just don’t know it. Is that possible? Goodness knows, y’all should be sick of my winding speeches about my life. Alright, enough ‘deep thoughts’ for today. I should go figure out what is wrong with my computer since my grammar check and spell check haven’t been working today (note: please forgive all spelling and grammar errors. Heehee).
Labels: life
posted by Taryn at 4:59 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home