Living vicariously
First – Ukrainian Love poem
I don’t know if I am being stereotypically female and downplaying my life OR my life is truly boring. I think it is a bit of both. When people ask what is new, I usually can’t think of anything to say.
My friend milady is having the most exciting time as of late, between her car and certain new friendships. She goes out constantly, is losing weight fabulously and things are going great for her. And I am so HAPPY for her. But that small part of me misses her and is jealous that she has this wonderful life…and I am not even a third wheel observer, but a long distance, read it in the blog first kind of gatherer. Don’t think that she has been anything but awesome. She hasn’t deliberately left me out of the loop, as far as I know, but we just have been moving in along different paths. I am glad that she is having fun and finding new opportunities.
I am sad though that I seem to be living within myself. I know part of it is this weather. Winter, for me, usually involves nights spent at home watching tv or hanging with a few close friends. I usually don’t get out and I am usually fine with that. This weather though is very spring-like. And spring brings out the restless in me. I want to move and go out and DO something. I don’t know what I want to do, but I feel the need to DO something. And this weather is bringing that feeling. Only partially though, because there is the other half of me that is just withdrawing from everything. I have been procrastinating like crazy lately. D’s costume is planned, but not sewn, let alone the pattern cut out. (Thank you J for the pattern.) There is a list of stuff I want to do, but nothing seems to get done. I did complete the puzzle I got last year (2004) for Christmas. Hopefully, I will finish 2005’s puzzle before 2007. And even on my days off, I tend to wander around the house and let myself be distracted rather than actually doing what needs to be done. I want to get together with people, but I feel like I am intruding on their lives if I call to see what is up, so I don’t call and don’t see if they want to get together. Even D is tired of talking with me. Today, we sat in the mall and said nothing, because when asked D said there was nothing to talk about. I mean, oh my goodness, I didn’t think I was that dull.
At work, they think I am so exciting and energetic. And they still think I am the ultimate positive person. Phghhhhht. Whatever. I just need to get something going in my life. There is so much that I want to do, but where to start. And my office is a mess again. Did I mention how that aggravates me? Heehee.
Domestically, I have been trying to organize things again, but I always start in weird places – like the games room. Yesterday, in the midst of checking the basement phone cause the one upstairs wasn’t working, I got distracted and reorganized the gaming books. And I don’t mean, I just tidied them, I mean I reorganized 6 shelves worth so that not only were they divided into specific genres, but also versions. And the dice were separated into style and type. But why is any of that important? I don’t see that room a lot, so I don’t get to see my efforts often, but it was important at that moment, I guess. Meanwhile, my office is ignored, my craft room is piled up and my dressing room is messy. I think if I really wanted to analyze it, there would be some profound psychology behind it all, but realistically, I think I am just weird. Bored. And weird.
Politically, I just want to say it is interesting how adamant Harper was that people should not cross the floor and then as soon as someone does it to his side, he is all right with it. Not really a surprise from a politician, but one can always hope. I still think someone younger would be good- someone fresh and a little less cynical and political.
I am not sure I like the direction work is taking us. It’s like the big bosses have this idea. They try to implement it, doesn’t work, so they let it stew in the back, then they decide to bring it forward several years later and cram it down everyone’s throat. Here it is, people, now deal. I like trying new things, but there has to be some support. There has to be someone who has a vision of the end product and an idea of how to get there. What it seems is that the big bosses have the end product in their eyes and it all very “EXCITING” (trust me, they use this in Every memo about the new direction), but there is really no plan. And despite wanting to be uniform throughout all offices, each office is handling it differently as we are laid out different and we have different clientele depending on where the office is located. I feel like I am trying my hardest to keep up, but sometimes, it is like what is the point. Show us the final idea in detail, so we know why we are going through all of this. Arghh.
Did I mention recently how cute James Marsters is? I just looked up at my calendar of him and he has this blond wavy hairstyle going on and he is looking cutely curious? You just want to rip his shirt off and watch the eyebrow quirk. Heeheehee.
My love is like a cabbage
Divided into two
The leaves I give to others
The heart I give to you.
Unknown
I don’t know if I am being stereotypically female and downplaying my life OR my life is truly boring. I think it is a bit of both. When people ask what is new, I usually can’t think of anything to say.
My friend milady is having the most exciting time as of late, between her car and certain new friendships. She goes out constantly, is losing weight fabulously and things are going great for her. And I am so HAPPY for her. But that small part of me misses her and is jealous that she has this wonderful life…and I am not even a third wheel observer, but a long distance, read it in the blog first kind of gatherer. Don’t think that she has been anything but awesome. She hasn’t deliberately left me out of the loop, as far as I know, but we just have been moving in along different paths. I am glad that she is having fun and finding new opportunities.
I am sad though that I seem to be living within myself. I know part of it is this weather. Winter, for me, usually involves nights spent at home watching tv or hanging with a few close friends. I usually don’t get out and I am usually fine with that. This weather though is very spring-like. And spring brings out the restless in me. I want to move and go out and DO something. I don’t know what I want to do, but I feel the need to DO something. And this weather is bringing that feeling. Only partially though, because there is the other half of me that is just withdrawing from everything. I have been procrastinating like crazy lately. D’s costume is planned, but not sewn, let alone the pattern cut out. (Thank you J for the pattern.) There is a list of stuff I want to do, but nothing seems to get done. I did complete the puzzle I got last year (2004) for Christmas. Hopefully, I will finish 2005’s puzzle before 2007. And even on my days off, I tend to wander around the house and let myself be distracted rather than actually doing what needs to be done. I want to get together with people, but I feel like I am intruding on their lives if I call to see what is up, so I don’t call and don’t see if they want to get together. Even D is tired of talking with me. Today, we sat in the mall and said nothing, because when asked D said there was nothing to talk about. I mean, oh my goodness, I didn’t think I was that dull.
At work, they think I am so exciting and energetic. And they still think I am the ultimate positive person. Phghhhhht. Whatever. I just need to get something going in my life. There is so much that I want to do, but where to start. And my office is a mess again. Did I mention how that aggravates me? Heehee.
Domestically, I have been trying to organize things again, but I always start in weird places – like the games room. Yesterday, in the midst of checking the basement phone cause the one upstairs wasn’t working, I got distracted and reorganized the gaming books. And I don’t mean, I just tidied them, I mean I reorganized 6 shelves worth so that not only were they divided into specific genres, but also versions. And the dice were separated into style and type. But why is any of that important? I don’t see that room a lot, so I don’t get to see my efforts often, but it was important at that moment, I guess. Meanwhile, my office is ignored, my craft room is piled up and my dressing room is messy. I think if I really wanted to analyze it, there would be some profound psychology behind it all, but realistically, I think I am just weird. Bored. And weird.
Politically, I just want to say it is interesting how adamant Harper was that people should not cross the floor and then as soon as someone does it to his side, he is all right with it. Not really a surprise from a politician, but one can always hope. I still think someone younger would be good- someone fresh and a little less cynical and political.
I am not sure I like the direction work is taking us. It’s like the big bosses have this idea. They try to implement it, doesn’t work, so they let it stew in the back, then they decide to bring it forward several years later and cram it down everyone’s throat. Here it is, people, now deal. I like trying new things, but there has to be some support. There has to be someone who has a vision of the end product and an idea of how to get there. What it seems is that the big bosses have the end product in their eyes and it all very “EXCITING” (trust me, they use this in Every memo about the new direction), but there is really no plan. And despite wanting to be uniform throughout all offices, each office is handling it differently as we are laid out different and we have different clientele depending on where the office is located. I feel like I am trying my hardest to keep up, but sometimes, it is like what is the point. Show us the final idea in detail, so we know why we are going through all of this. Arghh.
Did I mention recently how cute James Marsters is? I just looked up at my calendar of him and he has this blond wavy hairstyle going on and he is looking cutely curious? You just want to rip his shirt off and watch the eyebrow quirk. Heeheehee.
posted by Taryn at 9:11 pm
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