I am a loser, baby, why don’t kill me?
So after all that work, I didn’t get the position I tried for. It wouldn’t hurt nearly as much if it hadn’t felt like I was a shoe in, like it was just a formality to go through the motions. And I ignored all that and studied and treated it just like a formal process while ignoring the voice that was gleefully thinking I would be out of my current office SOON! And then I blanked on a question in the interview and I obviously didn’t quite convince them that I knew what the answer was, but I just couldn’t remember the EXACT title of it. And then they decided that they wanted someone with more experience planning events. Well, why didn’t they say so? I have had some experience. That Never came up. So today I read my horoscope (cause who doesn’t?) and knew that I didn’t get it and when I got in and finally got a chance to check my emails, it was confirmed. But there was no reason specified. I had to call to find out. Thankfully, we were busy and I didn’t get a chance until my afternoon break.
Can I say Joy? Oh yeah, trying not to sound heartbroken and not take it personally as she tells me what I did wrong and what I didn’t have. Then being told that my several years of schooling are useless and I need to take another course or two and that I have to get out of where I am cause there is no way for me to get the skill set I need to get into that position where I am. So in other words, I need experience to get the job, but I need the job to get the experience. While I appreciate the assistance and the underlying caring of where I end up, I was really upset by the time the call was finished and I felt like I did when I finished my second degree and was told AGAIN that I need the next degree to do the ‘toe in the door’ job and did I want to spend another 4 years in university? I felt like I wasted a lot of my time then and I felt like that now.
So now I am sitting here writing this, eating smokehouse jalapeno almonds cause I can only eat a few and listening to the variety of music on my computer while deep down, I feel like drowning my sorrows in a large vat of food and I wish I drank. Sighhhh.
Can I say Joy? Oh yeah, trying not to sound heartbroken and not take it personally as she tells me what I did wrong and what I didn’t have. Then being told that my several years of schooling are useless and I need to take another course or two and that I have to get out of where I am cause there is no way for me to get the skill set I need to get into that position where I am. So in other words, I need experience to get the job, but I need the job to get the experience. While I appreciate the assistance and the underlying caring of where I end up, I was really upset by the time the call was finished and I felt like I did when I finished my second degree and was told AGAIN that I need the next degree to do the ‘toe in the door’ job and did I want to spend another 4 years in university? I felt like I wasted a lot of my time then and I felt like that now.
So now I am sitting here writing this, eating smokehouse jalapeno almonds cause I can only eat a few and listening to the variety of music on my computer while deep down, I feel like drowning my sorrows in a large vat of food and I wish I drank. Sighhhh.
posted by Taryn at 6:13 pm
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