Don’t you need…
Sorry, I have not been up to date. There is so much going on and yet, it seems like I am on a circular moving sidewalk and going nowhere slowly.
At work, we did our first training session last week and while I can honestly say, it could have been better, I think we did our bestest. However, having 11 participants in the first session with such a large number from one office was not a performance I would care to repeat, though we learned a lot about group dynamics. This week, I have been back to my usual haunt and while I have been gone 4 weeks, it seems like it is months. There is a tension in that office that is oppressing. Lots has changed and everyone expects me to know what is going on, like I wasn’t working or anything in the last 4 weeks – actually, my supervisor said to me today that it isn’t fair that we got 3 weeks to learn the new program and everyone else gets 4 days. I set him straight real quick about what we were doing for 3 weeks. I did my old job for just ½ hour today and it was like learning a whole new job – mind you, my desk area is worse than a mess. My home office is a mess. My work desk is Atrocious. And of course, a week after I left, somehow they trashed my system and no one has fixed it as of yet. Next week, I spend the entire week (short that it is) doing my old job and I don’t know how I will be doing it with the decent computer being broken and me not knowing what is going on.
Add to this, my new activities at work – which I am trying to do. Somehow I ended up taking charge and organizing it – okay, I know it is just because that is who I am, but no one fought me for the honor – gee- I wonder why. So I am trying to organize and coordinate with 6 very dominant personalities, 2 of which have no problems handing over the reins, 2 are technically my higher-ups but all is good, one I have no idea on his stance other than he likes my office, and one who I know has a problem suddenly with me being in charge, mainly cause he is not. Wednesday, I am getting together with the 4 other trainers and we will be working on our presentations and such. I can just see that this is going to be a very intense meeting.
On the other side of all of this, I have to get used to people talking good about me. I know, I am a freak, but hand me a compliment and I still blush and stammer. The good news is that I am doing a good job and people are noticing. The bad news is I am doing a good job and people ARE noticing. Ack! I can hope that this leads as everyone has been hinting to a promotion – or an opportunity. I am wasted at my current job and most people know that, but I really don’t know what I want to do when I grow up – that is not true – I would love to be someone’s executive assistant. I love organizing lives and hammering details down. It stresses me and drives me crazy, but I love it. Now, how I get from here to there – that I don’t know.
Home-wise – things are okay. We recieved the new bed. Sighhh! I still miss the waterbed. The warmth, the softness, the comfort. So far, in this bed, I have managed to stay asleep for about 5 hours straight at the most and usually it is more like an hour or two. Whether this means I need to just keep getting used to it or if this is the wrong bed for me, I don’t know. Having never slept in a real bed in a number of years (hotels don’t count – and sometimes, those were so uncomfortable I just slept on the floor), I really don’t know what I should do to make it better. We bought new sheets and I put on an extra mattress cover (cause the deep pits on the top of the bed were annoying), so the bed is comfortable – it is just not waterbed comfort. It’s not floating on a raft comfortable. There is something to be said about water being the bearer of your weight. And being a Scorpio, I think I miss the water being so close. Maybe I’ll push more for a hot tub. Heehee.
Anyway, that is really all that is new. I am spending soooo much time doing work at home and just trying to keep the house tidy, that I am exhausted. And here I bug D when it seems he brings work home – mind you, I have a lot more time alone to do work and it won’t affect anyone else.
Just one more note – We frequent a popular bar downtown that is known for being a gay bar. It is a great place to go. The music ranges from 70’s to now and it’s fun and a visual delight. Lately, it seems to be the hot spot of non-gay couples. Now, don’t get me wrong, while I may be open in my choices, most of my friend would classify me as straight (course that would be because I usually don’t mention my openness – oops – surprise guys - heh) and so this sounds slightly hypocritical, but hey, I am all about double standards. There are a lot of really straight people hanging out at this place. So much so, that it’s not that one or two stand out, but groups stand out and they are not comfortable with being there and so it begs one to wonder why they go there. If you are too scared to face the urinals straight on (no, I never saw – I hear stories), then maybe you should go back to Barry T’s. But it is weird to watch these waves of seemingly straight people flowing through the bar. Anyway, that’s my rant – as an added bonus, the dance floor was rocking – whew! There were 3 guys simulating sex and while that bothers some people, I can say – they moved well. And the one guy – aside from the dirty dancing, was just an awesome dancer – he twirled and dipped and spun his partner(s) around so well. It was fascinating. And when someone got in the way of my view – I just walked up to him and said “Honey, you’re blocking our view of the dance floor.” And he moved. Ahhhh – sometimes you just have to state the obvious, much to some of my friends’ astonishment.
At work, we did our first training session last week and while I can honestly say, it could have been better, I think we did our bestest. However, having 11 participants in the first session with such a large number from one office was not a performance I would care to repeat, though we learned a lot about group dynamics. This week, I have been back to my usual haunt and while I have been gone 4 weeks, it seems like it is months. There is a tension in that office that is oppressing. Lots has changed and everyone expects me to know what is going on, like I wasn’t working or anything in the last 4 weeks – actually, my supervisor said to me today that it isn’t fair that we got 3 weeks to learn the new program and everyone else gets 4 days. I set him straight real quick about what we were doing for 3 weeks. I did my old job for just ½ hour today and it was like learning a whole new job – mind you, my desk area is worse than a mess. My home office is a mess. My work desk is Atrocious. And of course, a week after I left, somehow they trashed my system and no one has fixed it as of yet. Next week, I spend the entire week (short that it is) doing my old job and I don’t know how I will be doing it with the decent computer being broken and me not knowing what is going on.
Add to this, my new activities at work – which I am trying to do. Somehow I ended up taking charge and organizing it – okay, I know it is just because that is who I am, but no one fought me for the honor – gee- I wonder why. So I am trying to organize and coordinate with 6 very dominant personalities, 2 of which have no problems handing over the reins, 2 are technically my higher-ups but all is good, one I have no idea on his stance other than he likes my office, and one who I know has a problem suddenly with me being in charge, mainly cause he is not. Wednesday, I am getting together with the 4 other trainers and we will be working on our presentations and such. I can just see that this is going to be a very intense meeting.
On the other side of all of this, I have to get used to people talking good about me. I know, I am a freak, but hand me a compliment and I still blush and stammer. The good news is that I am doing a good job and people are noticing. The bad news is I am doing a good job and people ARE noticing. Ack! I can hope that this leads as everyone has been hinting to a promotion – or an opportunity. I am wasted at my current job and most people know that, but I really don’t know what I want to do when I grow up – that is not true – I would love to be someone’s executive assistant. I love organizing lives and hammering details down. It stresses me and drives me crazy, but I love it. Now, how I get from here to there – that I don’t know.
Home-wise – things are okay. We recieved the new bed. Sighhh! I still miss the waterbed. The warmth, the softness, the comfort. So far, in this bed, I have managed to stay asleep for about 5 hours straight at the most and usually it is more like an hour or two. Whether this means I need to just keep getting used to it or if this is the wrong bed for me, I don’t know. Having never slept in a real bed in a number of years (hotels don’t count – and sometimes, those were so uncomfortable I just slept on the floor), I really don’t know what I should do to make it better. We bought new sheets and I put on an extra mattress cover (cause the deep pits on the top of the bed were annoying), so the bed is comfortable – it is just not waterbed comfort. It’s not floating on a raft comfortable. There is something to be said about water being the bearer of your weight. And being a Scorpio, I think I miss the water being so close. Maybe I’ll push more for a hot tub. Heehee.
Anyway, that is really all that is new. I am spending soooo much time doing work at home and just trying to keep the house tidy, that I am exhausted. And here I bug D when it seems he brings work home – mind you, I have a lot more time alone to do work and it won’t affect anyone else.
Just one more note – We frequent a popular bar downtown that is known for being a gay bar. It is a great place to go. The music ranges from 70’s to now and it’s fun and a visual delight. Lately, it seems to be the hot spot of non-gay couples. Now, don’t get me wrong, while I may be open in my choices, most of my friend would classify me as straight (course that would be because I usually don’t mention my openness – oops – surprise guys - heh) and so this sounds slightly hypocritical, but hey, I am all about double standards. There are a lot of really straight people hanging out at this place. So much so, that it’s not that one or two stand out, but groups stand out and they are not comfortable with being there and so it begs one to wonder why they go there. If you are too scared to face the urinals straight on (no, I never saw – I hear stories), then maybe you should go back to Barry T’s. But it is weird to watch these waves of seemingly straight people flowing through the bar. Anyway, that’s my rant – as an added bonus, the dance floor was rocking – whew! There were 3 guys simulating sex and while that bothers some people, I can say – they moved well. And the one guy – aside from the dirty dancing, was just an awesome dancer – he twirled and dipped and spun his partner(s) around so well. It was fascinating. And when someone got in the way of my view – I just walked up to him and said “Honey, you’re blocking our view of the dance floor.” And he moved. Ahhhh – sometimes you just have to state the obvious, much to some of my friends’ astonishment.
posted by Taryn at 9:09 pm
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