Anality Bites: 2007: Memory lane

So 2007 is coming to a close and now is a good as time as any to review what has happened during the last year.

I have joined the technological age and have finally upgraded my walkman (yes, the one that takes cassette tapes) to an iPod. That is what the monetary gift from D’s parents and grandmother went into. It’s pretty and so far I have yet to use it. It is synced with my computer; so there is music on it, I just haven’t used it. However, I do foresee some good times with it as I exercise. It will be nice to carry that around instead of the walkman as I go for my walks and such.

The new windows are in and the exterior of the house is underway. That has been both the biggest worry and the most extravagant spend this year. Of course, it was only possible because a car was paid off this year. Though I feel we are still on ‘house poor’ alert, I actually feel like we have something to show for it this year. Unfortunately, it is a pink house right now, but by mid 2008, the house will look amazing and now I just have to convince D that we need the gargoyle chimney cover. And we have discussed getting a broken tombstone to hold the address. Do you think the neighbors might worry about us? Heehee.

I have learned that despite the fact that 2006 led to me learning so much about forgiveness, it appears part of me is not ready to forget some things that happened in the past. Certain reminders keep occurring and while I would love to just forget it all, I guess that is why I am a Scorpio, best keeper of secrets – both others’ and my own.

Career wise, I have worked hard at getting myself promoted. It was a scary time, but I am so glad that I took the leap. I am learning so much and if only to have met one of my co-workers, it was totally worth it. The needed pay raise (see house paragraph above) was appreciated and certainly put to good use. As my boss keeps saying, this year will bring us some interesting times. There are going to be lots of things happening in our department and it all leads up to a complete revamp in 2009. It is kind of cool having my toes in so early.

My office cleaning and tidying attempts have maintained a consistent level in priority and though it is not the cleanest it could be, the filing and messiness are at a reasonable low level. My attempts are decluttering the rest of the house continue with as much gleeful freeing toss outs and tearful refusals to let go.

I started taking yoga. I feel so much better having taken that step and I am going to sign up again when it starts in a couple of weeks. In fact, these past two weeks, I haven’t done my yoga and I have noticed the change. I am glad that I am back towards being as flexible as I was and that the instructor has noticed and is taking that into consideration as we do our stretches. I wish I could have been involved in the chocolate meditation as it sounded delectable (heehee), but I still get so much out of yoga.

I have had to (and continue to) work at reminding myself that the numbers on the scale are not the end all of life. My father lost 120 pounds this year (at least) and my mother lost about 30-40 pounds herself. I am officially the largest of my family, though I certainly don’t necessarily look it. And the scale has been arguing with me every week about what it should read. I know the numbers on the measuring tape are more important and I know the fit of my clothes is even more important. I have dropped 1, possibly 2 sizes (I haven’t gone shopping to verify the second drop). And I am pleased with that. Most of my clothes are far too big and I know that is a wonderful thing. Part of me wishes the scale showed more, part of me is pissed off cause I have some really nice clothes that are too big now (some I even recently bought), and part of me is still curled up waiting for me to give up on the changes and go back to status quo.

I am not at the state of depression I was this time last year. Nor am I feeling quite so run down. I won’t say there is no stress in my life because that would be a lie, this year has actually been quite stressful, but I think I have handled it with a lot more panache that I have in several years. I have discovered a lot about myself, not all of it good, and I hope to continue this. Rumor has it that Generation X is being called the Lost generation because we don’t feel like we know where we belong, because we have committed so much time and energy to trying to find ourselves and because we are stuck between a large generation of baby boomers and a large generation of Gen Y’s. And then there is the Entitled generation that follows, but that is a topic for another day. I think that Gen X is among the first generation that has been allowed the time and energy to try to find ourselves. People have taken their moments in the past, but really, there is so much in our life that is convenient that really, it is easier to take that time to just make ‘me’ a priority. And maybe we feel like having watched our parents and grandparents that we need to take the time for ourselves so that we can be better people. I don’t think anything is wrong with that. I know I need ‘me’ time to survive and I am better at taking it and it shows.

My friends still ROCK! I have some really good friends and I hope to continue my relationships with them. And I am looking forward to a new year of meeting people and getting to know people better. There are people in my life that I really don’t know (S!) despite them being in my life for more than a year. There are people I haven’t connected with in a while that I really do want to get in touch with again. Facebook has certainly been an interesting conundrum. So many people from previous times and the question arises: do you let them in your life now or not? How deep that question can become as the mouse wavers between ‘friend’ and ‘ignore.’

There are so many moments I could cover, but I think those are the big ones right now. It has certainly been a year of learning and taking those leaps of faith. I can honestly say that despite the outcomes, I am happy that I have come out of my shell and remembered what it is like to live.

Quote to end 2007