Sunday, June 12, 2016

Be in love with your life. Every minute of it.” – Jack Kerouac

What a difference two weeks makes… I was trying so hard that last week at work to be zen, to remain calm and get done what I could and let the rest go. What truly made it hard was knowing that the colleague with the next level of experience was going to try out a new position the same day I started holidays. She is still in the same office, so people can get ahold of her, but I hope people aren’t bugging her. She is on to a new position and should be left to do so. My boss, who gets upset when we get new staff who are stuck doing work for their old teams, was all like “we’ll just talk to her if we need to.” What upsets me is that I negotiated the start dates when I was acting manager – start the new person when both me and the colleague are around and then let the colleague start the new job and me go on holidays. What happened is that the new person was being paid by our team, but doing work for her old team. Arghhhh. So that was a week of training that I and my colleague could have done, but can’t because the old team is… arghhhh… meanwhile the rest of the team is all freaking out because me and the colleague won’t be around and how will they survive and… seriously folks?!? I could win the lottery at any time and be gone like that. The team is not just me. We are a team and I have been training everyone for years.

And then I had one day off before it was off to holidays in Abbotsford with relatives. Just for four days. It was an interesting trip. Firstly – let me just say, not much to do in Abbotsford. We got a driving tour of the area and saw several towns nearby. We had plans to go to the states for lunch, but that got kyboshed. It didn’t help granny went into the hospital the Thursday before and got out on the Tuesday. So we did a lot of visiting her in the hospital. They still don’t know what’s wrong, but by being in the hospital, she got a battery of tests that normally would take months to do. The first night was Christmas in June – a family dinner that went fairly well and was quite enjoyable. We ate up a lot of the leftovers over the next few days. There was a lot of going out as well. Which kind of sucked since I am on a big kick to watch my salt intake – doesn’t really go well with the whole eating out and letting someone else prepare the food. We had good food. We have some good conversations. We stopped at a friend who sells LuLaRoe stuff. Lovely clothes – I ended up getting a shirt, cardigan, and skirt. I should have stopped at the first two. I’m not a big skirt wearer and so I question whether I will wear it enough. The other two though I will certainly wear. That’s my Christmas present for this coming year. Teehee.

Then back home to do laundry, grocery shopping, and D to pack for the next trip. We picked up the cat that day and so I have been settling her in the last few days by myself. It’s a totally different household – we have no other pets, no kids, and we are a fairly quiet household. I think we are driving her a bit nuts with how quiet things are. Friday she mostly spent hiding under the bed, but I coaxed her out with some treats, food, and water. At that point, she has been a super affectionate cat. Except – she is easily startled. I shift my foot or get up to go somewhere and she freezes and then hides. My guess is this is leftover habit from her old home where the three other cats picked on her as well as the dogs. Yesterday I was able to cut her nails on both right paws. She was NOT impressed. Teehee. Today, I got the other two cut. Thank goodness - because daggers! You try not to show she is hurting, but ow! And she keeps getting stuck in things. Teehee. She already destroyed one toy because of those claws, but it was good to know what kind of toys she likes. She is all about kicking and scratching. I spent a small fortune buying her toys and back up toys yesterday. The cool thing is if you get a rescue pet (or a pet not from a breeder), PetSmart gives you coupons to buy the essentials. How nice! I totally appreciated it.

I feel like I got little done this weekend – even though I know settling the cat in was the priority. There is so much I want to do with this last week of holidays – see people, shop, fix the shed. Arghhhh… why is there never enough time in the day?

I am still having trouble fitting it all in – I want to do my meditation (supposed to do it twice a day) and exercise and keep the house clean and keep up with outside chores and garden and do my hobbies and watch my shows and cook my own food and read books and… That right there is a full day – how do I get work in there as well. Where do I fit in seeing friends and family? Where do I fit in travel? I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and I have to keep reminding myself to do what I can and leave the rest. Or as Hagrid says it – what comes will come and we’ll handle it when it does.

My brain is very zen – my heart is passionately wanting to do it all – and my psyche is running around in circles like the sky is falling. It’s a very hard position to be in. By the way, I am totally in love with The Awkward Yeti’s heart and brain comics. These are sooooo funny. I highly recommend you visit these. This comic fits me perfectly.

Anyway, I should go do something. Like maybe read more brain and heart comics… yeah!

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