It’s not your fault. I’m blaming you anyway.

STRESSED!!!! I know it is just Desserts, but I am so flippin’ stressed. And of course, Yoga ended this past Monday until January. OMG. How will I survive?

Work – for someone whose job is not going to exist soon, I sure am very busy and very needed. And the next person who says I have a logjam at my desk is going to get my foot up their arse. I mean, really. I mentioned at the meeting today all the stuff on my desk and on person asked, what do I do in my spare time? It is just that much. But if people would just leave me alone except when I ask them a question, I would be done. I wouldn’t have over 300 emails in my inbox. I wouldn’t be pulling out my hair and contemplating nights of vegging in front of the tele with a bag of chips, a bottle of pop and a whole lot of candy. I put in almost 2 hours of OT today. When I can get those hours back, well, that may be another story.

Home – the external renos are complete. The internal renos are ongoing, but on hold for the season. However, we have just discovered a leak in our bathroom. Will this madness never end?!?

Friends – I have friends!?!?!? My goodness, I rarely get to see them. Or write them. If you are one of those people, please do not despair. I have your email, I have probably read it, I just have NO time to respond. People will also notice there are less jokes, because I have been just dragging jokes out of my inbox and into an ‘unsent jokes’ folder to be read at a later date so my inbox seems slightly organized.

Christmas – ahhhh, here is where things get a little bit calmer. I am done Christmas shopping. Hey, don’t hit the organized person! I wanted it done by Nov 30 and I have done so. Now I need to do cards, wrapping and sending. I also need to start baking and prepping for our usual Christmas eve gathering for our select few orphan-like friends. However, our New Year’s plans have gone awry – it seems our usual friends are going to be away (sure, they have a good reason, but I don’t have to like it) and now I have to add find something to do for New Year’s eve on the list. If we don’t plan anything, I will probably be in bed by 9. Heehee. Plus I have this hot new top to wear. Sighhhh.

Exhaustion – have I mentioned this one yet? I am truly becoming exhausted. Not just in body, but I am also becoming mentally exhausted. It feels sometimes like there is no respite. I feel for poor D. D is very stressed as well, due mostly to job and the season. Add on to that a very stressed moi and we really don’t help each other relax.

Plans – I have to remind my darling Lisa that I would really like to join her on that class on the 6th. I can really use the skills I obtain there for some Christmas presents that I need to start soon. Heehee. Someday I should write out a plan for December regarding baking, etc. There are so many little things needing to be done. Of course, first we need to pull apart a bit more of the bathroom to see if we can repair the leak, if not – sighhhh.

Alright enough stress sharing… Here is something I found that is quite interesting…


I know this will be the highlight of all holiday cooking. Hmmmm, I suppose this wouldn’t qualify for vegetarian, eh?

Also, for those who are into things both brilliant and disturbing…

Because this makes me laugh...

Want in one hand, shit in the other – see what you get most of.

Holy Carp! It’s been a month since I last wrote. Now is that a good thing because I am off enjoying life, or is it a bad thing, because nothing is going on… ain’t that the question. My answer is it is a bit of both.

October 6 started my two weeks of holidays, which were chaotic, busy, stressful, relaxing, enjoyed and far too expensive. There were appointments. There was shopping. There were fights. There were laughs. There was project, upon project, upon projects. And the weekend of the 15-16th were probably the most stressful as D and I pushed ourselves to get so much done. And then the 17th, D left at 4:30 in the morning for a weeklong work conference and I returned to a desk that was nowhere near as clean as I had left it. And it was a week of stress at work, followed by stress at home as I tried, alone, to prepare for the 5th annual Celebration of the Dark Season. D returned home Friday night, unfortunately with attitude and exhaustion and while I did a lot to prepare, we were still up fairly early on Saturday to finish decorating and prepping and stuff. However, my plan was to be finished everything by 6:30, including dressing, and I was done by 6:37, which left me just shy of an hour to relax and then get food downstairs.

The party itself was great. I enjoyed carving pumpkins as well as watching the few others who also carved. (I am enjoying the memory, as all I smell right now is the seeds baking right now.) There were great costumes, lots of really good conversation and lots of laughs. I didn’t overkill on the amount food. And despite a scaled down decorating scheme, I think the place looked fabulous. And I think I looked amazing. Others can put their own two cents in, but I liked my outfit. I think I looked good; I loved the long hair and the corset over the push up. And I was wearing a skirt. (I wonder sometimes why I don’t mind a skirt at costume-based parties, but goodness forbids, I wear one else wise… heehee.)

So where does this put me now?

Let’s start with the obvious – election. While I am very disappointed that Harper is still our leader, thank the gods, he is a minority again. This man drives me nuts. I don’t like the look of his squinty little eyes or his fake smile. I dislike his need to suck the privates of the leaders of the USA. I despise his need to lie and to throw tantrums and act like a gosh darn child. Do we think he will actually learn from this? Are we doomed to spend even more taxpayer money for another election in a couple years when he has his next tantrum? Naturally, I voted (otherwise the above would all be disallowed.) Naturally, my area is full of redneck hicks who don’t know how not to be prejudiced. I mean, really. To reelect someone who is just a royal prick, when we have some decent other choices (ignoring the psycho Green party chick)…what can I do? I just have to put up with his crap until the next election or until he dies of a heart attack whichever comes first. Sighhhh.

Depression – I am still lingering in the depths of despair. I know so much of what is the problem. I know so little of how to fix it. But I am uninterested in so many projects that need to be done. And I am eating like crap – a meal here, a snack there, too much pop, not enough protein. While I am enjoying some of the time alone, it gets to be too much sometimes. Like tonight. I should be priming the wood for the bookshelves. I should be threading the serger for the living room drapes or some Christmas presents. I should be making peanut butter squares for Diwali next weekend. I guess we should all be happy I am writing an entry, because so many times in the past weeks I have thought of doing this and just didn’t feel like doing it and so I put it off. Like this morning, as I was lying in bed and planning my day, I was excited to get started on painting, but I couldn’t start until after the shopping trip to Costco with my brother and by the time I got home, I didn’t feel like doing it and so I did a couple of other things (monthly menu plan and grocery list) and now it is 7 pm and I just feel like crashing on the couch and vegging in front of the television. Sighhhh.

Television – I both caught up and so behind. I am behind 5 shows in Smallville. But I am so enthralled with Fringe and My Own Worst Enemy. Wow! We actually gave up a show this season – we decided Knight Rider just wasn’t holding our interest, so one less show on Wednesdays. That is a good thing. Supernatural is beyond fantastic this season. So many subtleties and god, those boys are hot! Big bang theory is still good and funny and I am glad I bought season one. CSI is interesting, watching Grissom start to fall apart is so emotionally heart wrenching. We know he leaves this season and the route they have taken is very true to the story.

Renos – you will be very happy to know that aside from a couple of minor things, the exterior of the house is FINALLY finished!!! Yeah!!! It looks good. The house looks different. I just need to decide on how the landscaping needs to go and then to scrounge up money to pay for that. We have a new light out front. The address sign we made should be dried enough for the new numbers by next week. The mailbox has been painted. The back light is back up. The basement is insulated and the drywall up. The old bookshelves are back into place and the new shelves, well, see above. They need priming, then painting (after we pick out a color), then put together and installed. My office is a mess – I gave away a dresser, because I am nice which means I have boxes on the floor with my supplies. I have boxes full of books from the basement in my office. And I have wood for the bookshelves in my office. Half of the hallways are primed and awaiting a final color (goodness, just priming them in white has made them look so fresh). We have extra dirt in the garden, which eventually, I need to spread out and put some out front. My yard has a few extra bits of eaves trough that the contractor did not take, but otherwise is looking so clean, I double take every time I look because it is just so clean. It is getting there. It is getting done. Slowly, but surely. At least, now, there is something to see for all of our efforts.

Money - Of course, being done means that the final bills have come in. Should I cry now? I gotta say, we are house poor. We are now carrying a significant amount of debt and that fact is contributing to my emotional state. Add on Christmas is coming and my blood pressure just starts to rise.

Christmas – On a good note, I am done two-thirds of the list. I put in a bit of effort the last week of our holidays and then this past weekend, I checked off several more. I am feeling quite good about what has been purchased and what has been done. I have given up on what my credit card tracking sheet says. Part of me has just thrown in the towel about being able to pay it off. I am destined to have debt right now and I just need to do what needs to be done.

Yoga – thank goodness for yoga. I am really enjoying it. Thankfully, everyone seems to have some knowledge so she is upping the pace more than last year (though being new I appreciated the slower pace last year). So much stress leaves me when I am at yoga. I can center in on myself and just relax. I just wish I could take that feeling and get it to motivate me through the week so I would exercise and de-stress more. Especially since 4 more sessions and then we are done yoga for this year. It is being cut short due to the instructor. I know I will miss it, but then again, if all goes as planned, December should be a month of wrapping, watching TV, some baking, and that is about it.

Work – Goodness what can I say. Stressed is an understatement. We have joined regions in the company and so instead of handling 24 subsections, I now handle 38. And of course, everyone does something different. I had just gotten the 24 under a similar process and now to add 14 more…and of course, my job is just temporary. Sometime in the future, I will be ‘mapped’ elsewhere. And so much is happening, so much shit rolling downhill that is getting dumped on us. I am trying so hard to get things done and yet it feels like so little is actually accomplished. I have been so stressed I forgot about all my fabulous Halloween earrings that I love to wear. I completely forgot until Halloween. How pathetic!

As a bonus, it was “fall back” weekend, which means I got an extra hour of sleep. Thank the goodness. It was long needed. My inner bitch calendar says I should do whatever my heart desires for a full 60 minutes. So I think I am going leave you nice people now and go do something just for me. I think y’all should take this opportunity to do the same.