So what to talk about today…

A has deleted her blog due to events in her life. I miss her blog. She asked me one time if I felt that she was too extreme on her blog. I said then, I still agree now, her blog represented her. People, who didn’t like her blog, generally weren’t people who got along with her in real life. Those of us who adore her loved her blog because it is like being in a conversation with her. Then again, a lot of people knew of her blog and really, you have to take into consideration that not everyone will like you and not everyone will get along with you. If out of all the people who read you, only 2 people have such problems with you that they cause a scene, really, statistically you are actually ahead of the game.

I know it is hard for me to talk since I have a rather small group of people who may read my blog. And very few comments are made, which is both good (I have no idea who I offend, etc) and bad (I have no idea if I am offensive, etc). Someone may decide that what I say is offensive and rude. If they choose to let me know, preferably in an adult fashion, then great, thank you for letting us have a conversation. If they choose not to let me know, then the smart thing is for them to stop reading me. It is called Free Will. Feel free to exercise it. I do. There are lots of blogs out there that I have surfed that I find to be ‘not my taste.’ I don’t lambaste them for it. I move along and find something new.

Speaking of surfing blogs – I just had wonderful news tonight.
- I rediscovered my ‘secret’ blogger. He has put up another blog and I am now all caught up. I even posted to let him know I had found him again…hopefully; he is not horrified by that discovery.
- A just alerted me that she is starting a new blog as well. Yeah! Though do not ask me for the site, cause until I have permission, …I’ll never tell.

In TV news, Gilmore Girls started again tonight… whoa. Poor Luke.

And Heroes began last night – what an interesting show! I am so impressed thus far with the writing and the story line. The show was wonderfully done, introducing characters and maintaining my interest. I definitely want to give this show another go. I can’t wait until episode 2 next week.

Tomorrow, One Tree Hill starts. So want to see who lives, who dies, etc. Excellent cliffhanger last year. Though I am still realllly disappointed that Dan is still alive. I really wish he would just die.

Thursday is the season premieres of Smallville and Supernatural. Can’t wait for those either. Although the recent slash I read kinda turned the Supernatural boys into something a little different – not exactly my thoughts on the two of them. I’ll get my head out of that thought sometime soon, I hope.

Friday is the next Ghostwhisperer and I am looking forward into being introduced to the mystery man from last episode. Looks like it might be very interesting.

Next Wednesday shall be interesting too – Lost starts. Can’t wait to be more convoluted with that one. And I need some Charlie time. I need something good to happen for him. And what happened to the 4 who went with the Others? Aghhh! Only 1 more week – I can last… I’ve lasted this long… sighhhh.

That is all with me thus far. This week hasn’t been too bad, namely because I am in training… Always fun to be out of the office.

A quiz... for amusement

My score on The "What's My Fantasy Pet?" Test:


Faerie(Your score: %66 obedience, %78 intelligence, and %79 ethicality)
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Faeries are ethereally beautiful woodland sprites who are disproportionately powerful with respect to their tiny size. They can perform tedious tasks with lightning speed and are capable of using magic. Though given to playful pranks, they are mostly benign and easy to handle.

Based on this result, we've also determined that you're gay.

The opposite of the Faerie is the T-Rex, and its evil version is the Gremlin.

Link: The "What's My Fantasy Pet?" Test
(OkCupid Free Online Dating)

I didn't know you could get a zero

D's profile (when you look at the full report, D has a zero - is that possible? - amazingly there is no self-discipline. Hmmmm, and I have a lot. Now what does that say? Heehee)


My Personality

Neuroticism	47
Extraversion	70
Openness To Experience	13
Agreeableness	75
Conscientiousness	14

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Things I have learned

I like being alone when I am in my own house. When I am out of town staying in someone else’s home (a B&B), I feel out of sorts and lonely and bored. And I hate eating alone. I should have brought a book. Maybe next time.

When you stay at a B&B, supposedly the owners expect you to come down and watch TV… or maybe she just thought I looked like a TV watcher. I should have come down since though D tried so hard, Bones did not get taped and now I am behind one show. No David fix this week.

Bloom N Breakfast in Cold Lake is a wonderful B&B, with an excellent breakfast (included) and with a terrific view. Also great walking trails right in front of the inn along the shores of Cold Lake.

Harbour Inn makes a fabulous dinner and dessert. Though I was told the Bailey’s cheesecake was great, I chose to try the key lime one. Mmmmmm. Good choice after a Caesar salad and lasagna. Note – they had, I believe, 6 different cheesecakes, a crème brule (it was coffee based or I would have had that), and a couple of other choices. Don’t let the Coffee Shop sign fool you, these people can cook and have a good selection. If I had not been craving pasta, I would have tried the special Chicken roasted in a fig sauce.

3.25 hours is a looooooooooooooong drive. Thankfully it was home.

Highway 55 between Lac La Biche and Cold Lake SUCKS! There is a lot of construction which means you get to drive 50 and in some areas there is no pavement, they have taken it down to the ground, which means in the rain, you are driving in mud. Thank goodness there were few people traveling around me.

Ford Fusion is a very comfortable car. After the afore-mentioned 3.25 hours, I was not stiff and sore.

The Ford Fusion can go almost 700 km on a full tank of gas. It counts down for you so you will not get surprised either.

A trip to Lac La Biche and then to Cold Lake and back to Edmonton takes you to .25 of a tank and you still can continue driving 200+ km.

My left thumb goes numb when driving for more than 45 minutes. It will not crack and it takes some good pressure and movement to get feeling back. How... odd.

Highway driving while it is daytime and it is raining is very hard on the eyes. I have figured out that highway driving and sunlight do not make me tired. They just make my eyes hurt so much that I know I would feel better if I just closed my eyes. Thankfully, I am smart enough not to do that at 100km/h.

I am still having pessimistic moments. There were several times on the road when I started thinking how easily the car could just lose control and I could die. Talking to a ‘higher’ power is a good thing then and reminds me that I have control of the car and perhaps when those thoughts come, I should slow down.

It is very easy to speed in the Fusion. It is Very hard to drive 60 km/h after driving 100 km/h though as it seems like you are crawling.

100 km/h is just a suggestion to most drivers. 109 km/h is not acceptable to most of them as an alternative either.

I hate passing on two lane highways. I prefer Highway 16, where I can pass, usually, at leisure without worrying about on coming traffic.

One cd is not enough for a 3-hour drive. I am not comfortable switching cds while driving at 100 km/h.

When Justin Timberlake came on the radio, when I finally arrived back in Edmonton and stopped listening to the cd I had been listening to for the prior 3 hours, the first thought that popped into my head was “Damn, that boy likes to be dominated.” Heehee.

Edmonton is Freezing today and a thin sweater that has worked as a long sleeve shirt all summer does not provide adequate protection.

Today was the third time I have filled up a gas tank, by MYSELF, in the past several years. On that note, I miss Full serve gas stations that did not charge any difference in price for that service.

I overpacked. Though if disaster had happened, I was prepared.

If one does not eat ‘fast food’ all that much anymore, one should not splurge and order the ‘usual’ from Taco Time. However, I ate lunch and supper at the same time and aside from 2 pieces of licorice, I have not eaten anything else.

A list is a great way to avoid chores. That being said, I should go finish laundry and then prep the carrots for freezing.

She says it best...

From Laurell K Hamilton's blog Mon, September 11, 2006.

Anniversaries.
I grew up with my grandmother not exactly celebrating, but remembering, my mother's death. Early August was her annual depression, her anniversary depression. I grew up knowing that it was coming, and being forced to wallow in the pain of it. I don't like anniversary depressions and I refuse to participate in this one. 9/11 has come again, and we are still here. We are still America. We are still the home of the brave and land of the free. Don't let anyone take that away from you, from us. Remember who you are. Who we are as a people. Don't let the terrorist take away who we are, and don't let other American's take away who we are. The terrorist do it with fear, and the American politicians do it with fear, too. Remember what Thomas Jefferson said, "The man who would choose security over freedom deserves neither."

I must say... I quite agree with Jefferson.

It’s all about me. You should know that.

So here I sit on the computer – wasting time. Thinking that D would be home shortly and I would get some help in digging up the carrots… then D calls. Nope, shift runs late tonight… sighhh… so here I am wasting time when I should be outside, digging up the garden, all alone. Sighhhh…

I had a very vivid dream last night and don’t ask me to explain why Justin Timberlake was a prominent figure in it… but let me say, damn, that boy likes to be dominated. Heehee.

This weekend was a good one, well, it ended up being a good one. Friday afternoon, I developed a migraine and stuck it out at work, only to come home and find that my head was pounding, I was light sensitive and completely nauseous. I am very owly in this state. Thankfully, it broke sometime around 12:20 am that night, so when I got up Saturday, there was only a slight pressure behind my eye. Saturday was a wonderful day shopping with milady after cutting my parents’ hair. Sunday was a great day shopping with D, where I spent way too much at Chapters, got some fun stuff for Halloween at Michael’s and we resisted the call of Dairy Queen as we are both being rather frugal (me especially since my money went to pay for dinner on Friday night as our usual Chinese restaurant has had their credit card machine revoked!) A night of gaming… (oooh, wait til the Hat finds out what he did – and he has some things he needs to do to prep for next gaming)… with a wonderful group of people and Monday morning came way too soon with that very intense and vivid dream of JT.

Work was nice today to some extent because the person helping me out actually appreciates the hard work I put into getting my new position. And the Big Boss stopped by and said Hi and said I was doing a good job on my project, which is always nice.

Hey, milady, can I get my book back? After JT, I am needin’ a dose of Nathaniel.

Anyway, I suppose I should go do the garden – the carrots won’t pick themselves and if I leave them out there, eventually they will grow to be more than 3 inches in diameter and that really is hard to chop into little pieces. It is interesting – Hill planting is really good for carrots. The short carrots have become very wide carrots and the long carrots seem to go on forever. I think I need to pick up one of those nifty cutting machines that makes all the cuts even as that will make freezing soooooo much easier.

Oh – one more thing – today is the 5-year mark of September 11 and the attacks on the USA. This past week there have been lots of shows depicting the event and discussing whether the US and Canada are prepared in case of another such event. I have to say – I don’t think you can ever be ready. We can have plans, which is something I think both countries have worked on. But how can you be ready for an attack that could happen anywhere and anytime? How can you prepare for suicide bombers who value their religious views over life?

What worries me more at this time is not that it will happen again, but rather that Canada has a good chance of becoming a target. One - We have a prime minister who varies between having enough lube for Bush to shove his American hand up Harper’s ass to make the PM talk or being on his knees pulling a Lewinsky. Really, what is it about American presidents that make people so happy to throw themselves and all attached to them at the president’s feet? Two - Canada is involved in a war. We have surrendered our stance as a peacekeeper and we are getting killed for it.

We have given up so much freedom and according to the polls we are satisfied with the sense of safety we get in return. Well, I would like to know who takes these polls, because I have never been asked for my opinion. And I think all of this is bullshit. The airline industry has a steady reputation of losing luggage. So like a lot of people, I have decided that when I travel, I want just a carry on. Except I can’t carry most of the stuff I want to bring on the plane as a carry on, I have to check it or willingly give it up. Now I don’t know about you, but my moisturizer alone is $15 (which really is cheap comparably). And I have a whole skin regime that I follow due to allergies, let alone the shampoos, soaps, etc. So now, this has to go into the checked luggage which means several tens of dollars could very easily get misplaced, let alone the damage those bags take. And I can’t bring water or most medications with me, despite the fact that air on a plane is dry and everyone will tell you to keep your medications in your carry on – in case the luggage gets lost.

What gets me is how easy this comes across as a conspiracy – the airlines stop including food on trips for free. You can buy your drinks and food for a ‘reasonable’ cost – higher than most fast food joints. Airline notices how much people are now bringing cheap fast food items. Suddenly big event happens (coincidence or not?) and no longer can you bring fast food items, water, etc. You can pay for them to store your stuff. You can pay for food and drink on the plane. I mean, really, who suffers here? What safety are we actually receiving? I am not seeing an advantage. I see a very expensive trip and that is before I actually get to my destination. And once I do get there, the odds are good that I may have to replace my clothes, my moisturizers, etc and stuff once I do get there.

What more can be done on the ground? Cause really, if the bomber is smart, you get yourself into the back of the airport or get yourself involved in one of the companies that works with the airlines and you fool around with the items already on the plane or that the airline will bring on the plane. Did nobody think of this? Cause supposedly, security is really tight if you are a customer. But if you work there, you can come and go almost as you please.

Anyway, I have taken several moments this week to remember the events of 9/11 and wonder just what freedoms we must continue to give up so that some random poll out there can show that we feel safe. I can think of so many other ways to make me feel safer and most involve national security and what the federal government needs to do. There is so much information that is available on the web, about so many things including our federal government. Does no one think that maybe we should pull back? That maybe we don’t need to be so transparent? Maybe national defense shouldn’t post pictures on their website showing their weapons and vehicles and showing how they work. Sure, it is cool and neat and educational, but it is also available for anyone and everyone. We can’t really think that those who would work against Canada and the States are computer illiterate and that they would have no searching skills.

Why are we still supporting this “New Government” as Harper refers to in every single article? This government who is not willing to support our national parks, our unique species, our environment, our rights and freedoms, our ability to not melt the nationalities into a pot, but to support and encourage each nationality, our ability to remain a country separate from the States and not become the 51st state, and our pride in being peacekeepers and in being safe because we don’t go to war over oil and insults. I am sure that many of the ministers are doing the best that they can. But I am really disappointed in what we are becoming and in what we are giving up to become this ‘thing’ that Harper sees.

But that is just my views and my thoughts on a much larger topic. To those who meaninglessly died in 9/11 and to all those who have meaninglessly died because events in response to 9/11 – I take a moment to remember and to hope.

...

Okay, must do my chores now.

Sometimes, it cuts just a little too close to the truth...

My Personality

Neuroticism	62
Extraversion	57
Openness To Experience	66
Agreeableness	31
Conscientiousness	51

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If I could, this is what I would say.

Thank you for the chance to finally respond and hopefully, be listened to in regards to all the comments being made about me and my position. When I was ‘just the receptionist’ and getting paid the least in the office, everyone was so supportive in that I was doing so much work for so little pay and that people should notice how good I was and pay me more. And I did a lot as ‘just the receptionist.’ I certainly did more than my position required me to. And for the last almost 2 years, I have been alone in that position, unlike when I began and there were 2 receptionists.

People began to notice how good I was and opportunities started to come my way. You were sad when I left and happy when I returned, but the expectations always rose about what you expected of me. Do you remember the fact that when I was being a trainer of the last new program we introduced I was the lowest paid trainer in the group and yet, I was the head trainer and doing more than most of the other trainers? And yet, I did not complain and stop doing what I was doing. I could have made your lives a lot worse. I could have not answered questions at reception and sent them all to you for answers. I could have made up fake names like other offices have done and let you come out and humiliate yourself. I didn’t. I respected you and the work you did and worked my own way up the ladder.

And now, people have definitely taken notice. Some high people in our office have taken notice. And they have decided that I have earned my way to a higher position, which came with more responsibilities. And yet instead of being happy with me, you have impromptu meetings that I am not invited to about me and my ‘new’ position. You all get quiet when I walk by and then whisper my name and what you think. Cause for some reason, 5 feet away around the corner is far enough away that I cannot hear you. Or you insult me to my face and when I try to correct your assumption or increase your knowledge of what I do, you brush me off and diminish what I do and what I say. You would love to be paid what I do and only have 2 projects to do, you say. Hell, so would I. Cause I am quite busy right now, and I am traveling and training and still involved in several other projects that do not allow me to be ‘just the receptionist’ anymore. It is very hard to do the projects I do from a reception desk. I need space, I need time to make and take phone calls and I need time to prepare presentations and make training tools. None of this can happen when I am ‘just a receptionist.’

You don’t see me playing games on the internet, chatting to my family on the phone for a half hour, planning my house reno or taking a half hour or more ‘cigarette’ break (in addition to the two coffee breaks) to grocery shop. I rarely get the chance to just stand around and talk with coworkers to just catch up.

So why don’t you show me a little respect as I have shown you? If you have a problem with not knowing what exactly I do, then talk with me and let me explain to you what my new projects involve. I am doing the best that I can, as I have always done and all I have asked is that someone else help out with reception. In fact, the higher ups have told you to help out at reception. Funny, how when I was doing reception, the job needed to be paid more for all that I did up there, but once you have to do the job, it is beneath your pay level. We are equals now, but you resist that concept. Well, I say, too bad and grow up. The company is changing around us and if you want to stay, then you need to grow and learn new things. And if you are not willing, then shut the f**k up about those that are willing.

And that is what I would say if just one of my coworkers would stop talking long enough for me to get a word in edgewise.

Life. Get one.

Yep, see sometimes you just have to push fates in the right direction. As soon as I posted the previous post, I checked my email and S wrote me. Yes, a part of me definitely breathed a huge sigh of relief. That is the problem having me as a friend. I am a good listener, a wonderful motivator and there is you need me, but if left alone too long with my thoughts, the voices start to go negative and start whispering of horrific things that could have happened and irregardless of the probability of those things happening, a part of me starts to worry. And that little worry nags and then blows into huge proportions such as my horrible thought this morning. Thankfully, it rarely gets that far before something happens to ease my worries. Thanks S for writing me. I wrote you back. Heehee.

Okay, everyone now shoo - I have things to sew for tomorrow. No more distractions. Heehee.

the voices in your head are not real...but they still have some really great ideas.

So much for a day of sleeping in with no plans. Oh don’t get me wrong – I slept in. The bed was sooooo warm this morning it was hard to leave it, though I did around 11. Then I slowly got up (like I like to at least once a week)– did special girly stuff (did a hair mask this morning) and read a bunch of my recent book. Then the list of things I wanted to do kept growing so I made my way downstairs, had a delish breakfast of vanilla flavored milk (OMG it is even better than banana milk and I thought nothing was better than banana flavored milk), crushed pineapple and a croissant donut. Healthy eh? Heehee. It was totally delicious and it kept me until supper which was awesome.

Hard day of shopping today – hit a bunch of stores for my inspiration for tomorrow’s Betty Cup. Picked up a couple things. Also picked up some stuff not on the list – a King size bed skirt for $20 in black! Halloween earrings (cause you can never have enough). New material for a cravat for D (I hope it turns out cause the color is amazing!) And then I hit Save On to pick up what I need for my famous dip for tomorrow and as I was picking up some more salsa, my eyes noticed the yellow, and blue and red box (only funny if you have seen the commercial) of Old El Paso and had the sudden craving for tacos. I love tacos. We haven’t had tacos in months, so instead of buying a box, I picked up some seasoning and the rest of the toppings and tortillas shells and with my arms FULL of several bags of groceries and shoppings and my slush float, I made my way to the car which though not totally far, it was about half the length of the mall. My hands were numb by the time I got there. Then one more quick trip to pick up new makeup for tomorrow and some gifts for a certain b-day boy and I was finally home. What a day!

Supper was awesome. Did I mention I love tacos? So full right now though. Phew! The only problem with eating on 2 meals on weekends is by the time supper comes around, especially after a day of shopping, I am so hungry. We watched Assault at Precinct 13 while we ate and it wasn’t too bad of a movie. One other promo – I bought the Now 11 cd this week on an impulse and I am really enjoying it. It is very pop but really good. I think there are only 2 songs that I don’t really recognize which, out of 18 songs, is pretty good. And it has the song that drives milady ‘crazy’ – she’ll know which one. Heehee.

Work is still driving me crazy. I am sooooo looking forward to my holidays. Heck, I am even looking forward to some of the traveling as it gets me out of the office. One of the positions I applied for has offered me a position and the boss is actually trying to convince me to take the position just so I get the training and then come back, cause then I will be ‘useful,’ except the training has nothing to do with what we have evolved into. If I take it, I will pretty much just have to forget it anyway if I come back, since we don’t really do any of it anymore. I wish they would get the new training done so that I can just do that and not have to worry about all this stuff. Of course, I wish that I could also be offered a position in a couple other departments and then I could just leave all this politicking and stress behind.

Tomorrow is the Betty Cup and I think Monday will be devoted to harvesting and painting. We have some prop work to do for Halloween yet and after tomorrow, I think all the creative things we need to do are done until the Halloween party. Course, Halloween could be really fun – I still need to get some of my props for my costume – haven’t found what I need, so I have a feeling it is going to require some very creative problem solving and some interesting reuses of items.

Funny work story – client comes in and states that he needs to apply for some things, but he is unable to use a computer. So I provide him with a couple of option to which his replies are No, No, No. So I respond – Well how do you think you are going to apply then? My next thought was OMG I said that to a client – oops! He responds rather deadpanned – I don’t know. We both kind of chuckle and then talk some more and come up with a solution, but it was funny. That could have turned out so much worse. Heehee oops.

Freakish thought came to mind this morning – S and I had talked in July about getting together in August, as she was available then so we could catch up. I wrote her an email shortly into August and called her a few days after that. She never replied so I assumed that she was busy or doing training for work or stuff like that and ignoring that evil little thought in my head that says worse things could have happened. Now, I still haven’t heard from her as of today and being me, I have been getting get a little worried. This morning, being the pessimistic optimist, the thought comes to me this morning that perhaps something really bad has happened. I even start to have this phone call in my head in which I call her house and her hubby answers and says that she has died and he is all apologetic because no one thought to call me and let me know. Meanwhile, my inner person is upset cause I am worried about her hubby and daughter and how they are handling it and how I am going to miss her so much. Now, I know she is probably going to read this and laugh about how paranoid I get, but I just wanted to get that out, since it is still very fresh in mind tonight and if she is reading this, perhaps she can write me and let me know how things are. I know she is just busy, but I had that horrible thought and so I needed to share.

Anyway, I should go do some prep work for tomorrow. Have to prep the dip and do a few last minute constructions. Hmmm… I wonder what color blue I have in fabric lying around in the sewing room… hmmm…