The dreams I have had of dying are the best I have ever had…

Let me start by saying that today has been a tough day to maintain a good mood and if I took it out on you, please believe it was not intentional and I was trying not to take it on anyone. Sometimes, the anger and frustration just builds to the point that if I say anything more than Whatever, then something will be said that just can’t be taken back. So what is bothering me? One co-worker. Why must there always be one?

You see, my job isn’t quite accepted in my new office. Some people have taken offense that my job is to find their mistakes before they become costly. And I take that job seriously. I am also a bit of a rule follower and certainly if what you are doing is illogical, I am going to question your right to breathe. There was just one co-worker today who decided that my job was as her personal admin assistant – the person so low on the totem that I was to do her paperwork and her photocopying. And instead of saying ‘you too stupid to photocopy it yourself?’, my response to her was yeah, whatever. At 11, I had to tell her that I had other things to do and I wasn’t at her disposal. I think she was starting to get from my tone that I wasn’t happy with her because she back pedaled really quickly. Of course, that could also be because my fave co-worker happened to mention to the boss what this lady was making me do and he said he would say something about it. I don’t mind helping out – but this week was the start of a 12 week program that I have 8 weeks to complete. And try to do my job. I don’t mind helping, but do the shit jobs yourself. I have better things to do.

Add to that, there has been some other things going on that have my control freak panties in a bunch over and you have a very stressed out person who really could use a great release. I need loud music, preferably some attractive someones to distract me, and some alone time. Unfortunately, none of that seems likely any time soon. Because I am a busy girl and I know I am loved. I just need a great love, er, sex affair and I will feel better. Don’t we always feel better after a lust filled time? Heehee.

Renos update – we have 1 row of insulation on 3 sides of the house – done Thursday. Nothing was done today and thus, my hands are still freezing. Sighhh.

Oooh – something for y’all to hate me over – I have 6 presents left to buy. Heehee. I am so happy. I am hoping this weekend to have a few more down, if not all. And hopefully, my Christmas cards will be started this week and my goal is to finish by the end of the week. Whoohoo! Then I can decorate next weekend and start wrapping presents. Whoohoo! I am so excited to have all of this done before Dec because Dec is going to be very cold and probably very lonely.

Went to Michael’s tonight – big sale of 25% off everything in the store, even sale items. That rocked. I resisted buying for me. That was hard. Heehee.

Anyway, I should get some sleep. I am looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow and waking up slowly. Sighhh.

I am free, I’m careless, I believe…

The count down is on. In less than 25 hours, a few years ago (only 25 years ago if you ask me), I entered this world. My mother will give you the horrible story about how I was 3 weeks late and I made her miss lunch AND supper and I am the reason she HATES jello (supposedly some years (25) ago, they refused to find food for you if you missed a few meals due to labour and all you could have was J-E-L-L-O. Just to note: I LOVE jello. Heehee.) However, I told her it was because she wanted a Halloween baby and I refused to share my b-day – Halloween is my FAVE holiday. What can I say? When you are comfy and pampered, why give it up? Heehee.

My house is really cold though. I am still hopeful that the really cold weather will hold off a little longer. My house is so sad right now – down to bare wood, with barely any tar paper to keep it protected. Soon – new soffits, fascia and eavetrough. Soon – new windows. Soon – insulation on the house. Only a couple more weeks. I can last. Really, I can. I am tempted to wear gloves right now though. Goodness, my office is Really cold. Sheesh.

Speaking of my office, y’all will be very happy to note that my office is still clean. I know – amazing! I even cleaned my craft room and my dressing area. I feel quite proud of myself. Heehee.

Work is going well. I am getting along really great with one of the people at work. He’s a great guy who I have lots in common with and we just clicked. It’s fun talking with him and he has a great sense of humor, which borders on gossipy. I love it. We do differ in that he is a dog person whereas I am for the most part a cat person first. But we accept that of each other. It amazed me to realize that when he was finishing university, I was still in High school. He seems younger. But then so do I. Heehee. It was nice to have someone to click with right away. There are several in the office that I get along with on a civil level, but I can’t see us being bestest buds.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop by in case I am too busy being 25 for the next few days. Heehee.

1995

That was a good year – that is also the number I am on the visitors count. If only I had waited one more week, I could have been 1999. Heehee.

So what was I doing in 1995? If I told you, I would have to kill you – no really, I would, cause you might figure out how old I am then. Heehee. I celebrate my 25th b-day this year. I can now say that statement with a straight face. I have been practicing for a little bit after all. I told that to one of my new co-workers and almost had him believing me, until I added the ‘again.’ Silly me. I have NO plans for my b-day. Ndie is coming over as usual (my b-day is on Wednesday) so we will be watching shows. I think it’s taco night, so I will love dinner, even though I have to make it. But there are no fun plans. We always have a party for D’s b-day, but mine, it kinda sneaks in and sidles out and often, few are the wiser. It’s been a good year – I have moved up career wise (both literally, monetarily and figuratively). The house is showing signs of improvement (it will! – you just have to squint your eyes, really tight so that they almost close and then imagine it’s summer and suddenly the whole place looks pretty again - heehee). Health wise – I'm okay – not where I want to be, but not where I was. So what is my wish this year – well, I will keep my usual wish cause one day it might come true, and I will add another part because if the universe would just see to assist us with just a bit of lotto winnings or such, it would help so ever much in making my life just a little easier and less about being ‘house poor’ and more on being ‘vacation rich.’ Ahhh – a vacation. That would be wonderful to actually have some time where I leave the city and relax. No work, no chores, no responsibilities other than having fun and relaxing. I would love to go to a spa and just have everything done for me: massages, food, yoga classes, and nature walks. Sighhhh.

Other than that, work has been slow this week. In fact since about last Friday, I have actually had several periods of boredom. Even worse, certain co-workers have chosen to foster off their crap work to me and since I am so bored, I have actually taken it. Big mistake because now I am just not liking the person who gave it to me. Such tedious work – the positive point is that I am so much better in excel and word now. Sighhhh. Supposed it will be even deader at Christmas time since the people we assist will be shut down and thus we will have nothing to do. I can’t even say I will clean out my desk. At work it is already tidy. Oooh – exciting note – my desk at home is actually fairly clean as well. The other night, I did the filing and aside from some stuff that is making my desk home due to renos, I mean, wow, it is fairly clean. I have a desktop. Whoohoo!

Last weekend I did something really bad – a fellow blogger was showing a variety of reaction videos from you tube and said that he did not want to say what the video they were watching was. Of course, this just piqued my curiosity. I resisted for two weeks, then I tracked it down. And then I shared it with friends because you can’t see that video and not share it so that maybe it will dilute in your brain. Yes, everyone, I am talking about the 2 girls, 1 cup video. If you get a chance to see this video, everyone I know will say don’t. If like me though, you can’t refuse a dare like that, then be prepared. It is certainly not what society would deem normal behavior and while not my cup of tea, I can say that unlike several others, I didn’t feel the urge to vomit and I made it through the whole thing, not once, but four times because a certain person I won’t mention (milady) made me rewind it after showing her so that Lulu could see it. Milady didn’t last through the first viewing, but I think she managed to stay in the room for the second. So don’t say I didn’t warn you. Some of the reaction videos are funny. They might be worth it just for the cruel, yet funny situation. After all, I couldn’t resist showing the video – the question is – will you?

Come what may

“I will love you always. When this red hair is white, I will still love you. When the smooth softness of youth is replaced by the delicate softness of age, I will still want to touch your skin. When your face is full of the lines of every smile you have ever smiled, of every surprise I have seen flash through your eyes, when every tear you have ever cried has left its mark upon your face, I will treasure you all the more, because I was there to see it all. I will share your life with you, Meredith, and I will love you until the last breath leaves your body or mine.” A Lick of Frost by Laurell K Hamilton

The girly sap that I can be totally fell for this line. I don’t know about anyone else, but I would love for someone to love me that deeply (and that diplomatically). In case you didn’t figure it out, the latest Laurell K Hamilton book came out and I spent the night reading it. Well, about 3 hours I spent finishing it (I bought it today). Sighhhh. What a totally lovely book. It was definitely one of the more emotional books, based more on relationships and finding where one belongs in another’s heart. And of course, the huge question of the book finally comes to light and I am glad that this isn’t the end of the series. Laurell assures us that there are at least 2 more books. Which is great because there is a part of me that is very invested in this story. Not as much as in her other series – the Anita Blake series, but really that is because of Nathaniel. Which a lot of people don’t get, but for me, I wish he could be real.

Anyway, two weeks into the new job and things are going well. I am getting lots of accolades about how well I am doing, which is great. The biggest complaint appears to be that I do things too fast. No, I am serious. They give me something that they say should take me a few days to find all the information and an hour or two later, I am handing them the information and saying, so what’s next. There is lots of learn and there are a lot of things I need to learn outside of the job to help me. But the people are good and while I sometimes miss the dysfunctional family of my old job, a large part of me is really enjoying the freedom of what I do now. So yeah me!

Today, I signed a contract to have some major renos done on the house. And I am not having buyer’s remorse, but I am having spender’s remorse. It’s a lot of money and while it will help the house so much in being more energy efficient as well as aesthetically pleasing, it is a commitment to limit my life for the next couple of years. We can do it. There is just a part of me that asks what I am giving up in exchange. Oh the joy of owning a house.

On a good note, we have the toilets in the house and hopefully, we’ll be installing those soon. We were planning on doing it tomorrow, but the exterior guy wants to get started possibly by the end of this week, so we will be tearing down the deck tomorrow instead. And then I REALLY need to clean my office. It is getting to that point of ack! I know once it is cleaned up, I will feel a lot better. Plus if I clean out the crafting room, that will help too. I also need to start working on the curtains for the house since once the exterior guy is done, the windows will finally be replaced. And I am so looking forward to new curtains, I just don’t know what to hang yet.

The Halloween party was fabulous. Lots of great costumes and lots of variety in costumes. And everyone said it was hard to pick an over the hill superhero. I can as Sailor Pluto. I found this great photo that I had at the party to demonstrate how upset I was about my planet being downgraded to a dwarf planet. I even wore white – I know – SHOCKING!! Heehee. I think everyone had fun.

Anyway, the first week after holidays was spent going to my new job, then coming home and doing a ton of stuff to prep for the party, then the party happened, then I cleaned up and this week has been continuing to go to my new job and trying to finish deciding on the exterior so that it could actually be done at a decent time next year (little did we realize how quickly everything would happen. Whoa!) We still need to get a plan in for the new deck that we want next year so we can get approval. Gosh, I can’t believe I forgot about that.

Alrighty, I should get to sleep. Enjoy my extra hour of sleep. It has definitely affected me since previously I would have gotten this around our holidays which totally is appreciated. Oh well, take it when we get it, I guess. Have a good extra hour everyone.