2009: Memory Lane

Following my habits, it is that time of year to review the last year and ponder all that has occurred – good, bad, exciting, and the rest.

Let’s start with work, since that has been one of the biggest factors this year. After the first 4 months being frustrating with not knowing what was going to happen with my position, it was finally decided. May 1 to November 1 was the most stressful period this year. Doing two jobs in the time frame of one was hard and challenging and not something I would want to repeat. I believe I came close to burning out and it was rare I felt productive in either job. I am glad I had the opportunity for the second project – it was a learning experience and I met some really great people and it will help me in the future. It was tough though. I gave up a lot at home and in my life to perform at work and I am still recovering. November brought me back to just the one job, though with added responsibilities. These last two weeks are normally the time when I get to catch up, relax, clean, file, etc. It never really happened. The only good thing was getting to leave early twice. Otherwise it was constant working. I forced myself to work through my 719 emails in my inbox, so at least that is below 100 now. I brought the sent box from 801 to 523, so there is still work to be done there. My filing is not down. My desk is still a mess inside the drawers. I just feel like I am not being effective and it drives me bonkers. I know I have to be patient; it will happen and I will be happier when that time comes.

House – we got ourselves a landscaping plan, which both D and I liked. After shoveling this winter, I am rethinking some parts, but I think when it eventually all gets done, it will be fabulous. The deck is built and despite some issues, I am happy it is mostly done. It will be very nice to use it next year. And hey, if it gets us some money back at tax time – bonus!!! And the shelves are done – the bane of our existence, it seemed, for so long. I am very happy they are completed and they look fabulous. It has been very nice moving things down to fill them and cleaning out other sections of the house.

Family – I am happy to introduce the new addition to my family, the new SIL. I suppose I will have to come up with a new descriptor, since I have two now. My brother is a wonderful person and although it never surprises me, it still amazes me to have such an excellent brother. I wish him well to the utmost. Dad was retired in January and it was fabulous that he no longer worked for a company, which took him for granted so often. Though he is bored out of his gourd now and itching to find a new job, it was a good opportunity for him and for mom, I think the reversal in roles has changed their relationship a lot, hopefully for the better. Mom being diagnosed and getting appropriate medication was excellent this year as well. She is doing mostly better and is seeing a specialist soon. I still wish she would focus more on the positive, but she is getting there.

Friends – I still have excellent friends, though for the most part, all of us have been too busy to try to connect. I know I have been a horrible friend this year with the stresses of work and taking care of the house and all it entails. I am really hoping to reconnect with some of my friends this year. I need to work on my friendships and I am hoping my friends will be there with me in the effort. As usual, fave co-worker has been a godsend. Between him and two other co-workers, they have been lifelines for me. I am very appreciative of all their assistance. And fave co-worker is engaged. I am very happy for him. His partner is a wonderful man who is getting a fantastic and special spouse. As well, N got married this year. Due to my horrible email habits, I missed attending as I didn’t get the message until the day after. I am very happy she found someone who makes her happy and I hope her spouse knows how wonderful the person she married is. I have great friends; I just wish I was a better friend sometimes.

Me – the good news this year was I broke my plateau after a year and a half or so. The bad news is I have a new plateau because of the stress (I have never denied being a stress eater), the overtime, the depression (brought on by stress), and my desire to do it all perfectly while failing miserably. But I lost 11 pounds this year and more inches. I have kept my hourglass figure and I have more confidence in what I can do, exercise wise. Since I ended the year on the cusp of this plateau, I foresee me breaking this and losing even more this year. I don’t need to do it fast. I don’t want to follow a regimen. I just want to change my life in the time frame I can. I could have pushed myself harder. I could have exercised more. I chose not too. I still did well and I will continue to do well. Part of this journey for me is the change inside and it is happening. I still don’t want to share everything with other people, though it would be nice to have a partner in this journey. But that is the joy of being me. I want the details about everyone else, but my cards are kept really close to the chest.

So the year is ending on a better note. I am feeling more positive and less depressed than I have been lately. I am hopeful for the future.

Quote for 2009:

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. – Carl Sagan

I wish you all a fabulous New Year’s and a great new year/decade. Here’s to more friends, good times, cuddle piles, in depth conversations, opportunities, learning, love, family, friends, and adventures.

The reason I have been so stressed, busy and negligent... the wedding in Mexico

Here it is - the big week has come up - my bro is getting married - in Mexico of all places. So I have been racing through my life trying to earn money to pay for the trip, trying to do some prep for christmas, trying to sew presents as well as skirts to wear on the trip, and just getting the house set to operate without me. And it was all worth it in the end. The wedding was superb, the couple gorgeous, and I got out of Edmonton while it was at its coldest of 2009. Here is what I did while away and some of my thoughts. While I wouldn't put Mexico on my list for future visits anytime soon, I am glad I went and I would recommend it to others.

Day 1

It is 10:51 pm local time, which is 9:51 in Edmonton; however, I have been up since 4 this morning and with only 4.5 hours of sleep last night, I am exhausted.

We needed to be at the airport at 6, so the parents picked me up at 5. Then the plane was 1.5 hours late leaving; -45C will do that, I suppose. The flight was long and cramped, though lunch was surprisingly good. The salad was onions, cukes, and tomatoes, desert was chocolate, and wine was served, so mom got my wine and dad got both mom and my salads and chocolate.

Then we had a heyday with the buses as they couldn’t find the bus and then it was full and we had to wait for another one. I so dislike disorganized people. Follow that mess with a ‘scenic tour’ and we finally arrived just around 7. I had my meltdown (nerves and exhaustion) at about 7:45 and supper at 8. A walk at 9 leaves me in my room unpacking and settling in, so at 11 – it’s lights out!

Day 2

Lessons I have learned
1. Traveling by myself at a resort is boring.
2. Feeling left out is boring.
3. Not speaking Spanish sucks!
4. Being shy sucks!

I feel bad for following the parents around, like a child. What else am I going to do? Talk about out of my element. I know no one else. My bro’s friends are a different age/personality/experience group who are very close knit, so I feel like not only the fatty around them, but also like I have no idea how to get to know them.

Alright – good things
a. I can wear skirts without shorts underneath – may sound obvious, but for me this is a big step.
b. My wrap skirt #1 (made by myself) isn’t that bad, though I already spilled something on it – yep, first thing this morning at breakfast. Sighhhh.
c. I am not dying in the heat, but then again, I am not moving much and the wind is quite significant.

Bad again
5. The smoking here is horrendous! These people are disgusting. They smoke almost everywhere and there is no regard for wind direction or others around. I have a headache forming from it already.

We walked across the street to the little strip of shopping. Some nice stuff, though nothing too exciting. I still want to get D something, but what?

Day 3, as written on Day 4

Yesterday was a full day. Up at 6:30 ish, breakfast at 7, and then on board the bus at 7:30. We went on a tour, which was fantastic. Originally, we were going to do it on Day 4, but because we had 10 people, they allowed us to do it on an off-day. Excellent choice!
We first drove out to the town of Valladolid. A pretty town at the center. The guide, Alejandro, described the churches and the differences between the Spanish influences and the Mayan influences. We saw the church just off the town square (built in the 1800’s with a working clock) and then city hall. City Hall has these gorgeous murals depicting the history of the Mayans. The murals were incredible. Then we walked around for half an hour to shop. I picked up a beautiful red and silver bracelet and a very intensely colored Mayan calendar. Not too badly priced.

From there we went to a cenote (pronounced see-no-tay) – an underground pool – near by. Wow! I suffered through my panic attack due to a very steep narrow staircase carved into the rock – did not feel safe at all. I did get into the water though. I forgot to take off my pedometer, though it seems to have survived (meaning I dried it, blew on it, and let it sit for several hours). My watch, which I did take off before getting it wet (it is water resistant), has not recovered as it somehow got moisture inside it. I need a tiny screw driver to open it in order to dry it out. So I am ‘timeless,’ which drives me nuts.

But back to the cenote – there are fish in it and it is very buoyant. Very relaxing. I have to ask one of the other people if they would share so I can get some of the photos. The climb out was worse as we were soaked and so much heavier, but I made it.

From there, it was to a hacienda for lunch – an authentic Mayan lunch – black beans, tortillas, pork and chicken, guacamole, rice, salsa, sweet onions, and then fruit and a pudding (?) of coconut, sweet potato, and cinnamon (which was surprisingly good). There, of course, was shopping there, and though I never tried it (everyone else got to sample tequila and the locals’ drink), I bought D Xtabentun, which is made of honey and anise. D probably won’t like it due to the anise, but I thought it was different than getting tequila.
From there we went to Ek’Balam – the ruins. It was recently found and in 2004, 2km of the 12 km were opened to the public. It is lovely and Alejandro gave us the most amazing details. Between that and The Road to El Dorado (teehee), I learned a lot. Though the Mayans did not have gold, just copper, jade, obsidian, and flint.

I couldn’t climb the ruins because of my skirt – not enough room to climb, which sucked. Supposedly at the top, you can see the other two ruins – Coba and Tulum. Dad, Mom, and I went around the back instead, which was fascinating in that it has not been restored yet. It was an interesting trip to the bathroom before we left – no light, no toilet seat.

Then 2 hours back to the hotel. We got back at about 6:10 ish. I washed a set of clothes and then off to a steak dinner – different from the buffet, but delish. Then I was off to my room, where I tidied and organized and mourned my watch before bed at almost midnight, which really sucked because I was up at 7 something on Day 4.

Day 4

Off to breakfast, then back to the room to change and get water. Then it was off to the pool. I lasted until just after noon, then the heat sent me back to my room. I read on my balcony (2 books down) until 1:30ish at which time I joined the parents and their friends for lunch. Then back to my room for more water so I could do a walk along the beach. Ran into the bro and his fiancée and friends/family. I got to talk with the bro briefly before he ran after the fiancée to the pool. So I went further down the beach and snapped some picas. As I was coming back, I ran into the parents who were going for a siesta. So now I am back in my room writing.

Part of me keeps asking – what am I doing here? I don’t do sun or heat or swimming or drinking. If not for the bro’s wedding, I can assure you I wouldn’t be here. I am very lonely. I just wish I had someone to talk to. No calking card, so can’t call D. No laptop to waste time on email or such.

It is amazing how at the trailer by the lake at home, I could sit and drink juice/water all afternoon. When did this change? It is probably because even if I read all afternoon, I could at least talk to D.

For goodness sake, I am taking pictures of plant life to quell my boredowm. Sighhhh.

Tonight’s goal is Walmart with the bro, fiancée and others. I need a watch, safety pins (so my wrap skirts stop flashing everyone), and I want to see if they have a pedometer that is similar for the future – obviously not now since my pedometer is working – such a good pedometer.

Day 5

Walmart was Walmart. I got a watch – came back to the room to find my watch is working again. Cursed! I also bought a few trinkets and necessities. The bro and fiancée recommeneded a pop called Squirt and the fritos, so I picked those up as well.

We went to the evening show last night. First up in the kids’ show, which is cute. Then it was International – basically, dancing around several countries were Riu has theirs hotels. It was interesting, but a take it or leave it kind of scenario, which explains why I was the only one left at my table at the end. I left before the congo line could start though.. ;)

I had a talk with the bro today about the fact he and the fiancée seem to be spending a lot of time with her side of the party. I noticed at supper and so did mom. I didn’t want to cause any drama (goodness knows, her side did enough of that), but I also wanted to get to know my soon-to-be sister-in-law.

Day 6

The pedometer is driving me crazy. It worked for a bit and now it keeps losing the numbers. When I get home, I will have to clean it with rubbing alcohol and see it that works.

Today is the wedding. After a morning by the pool, we got ready for the wedding. We got to meet the fiancée’s dad; he seems nice. Her mom didn’t take it well. Supposedly he cheated on her and then with the fiancée’s brother’s accident, there were other factors, which caused the break up. They were also a military family. Sheesh – what’s up with that eh? We just draw people to us, who are feeling unsettled or homeless, so to speak.

The wedding was lovely (the weather got nice and sunny for the wedding). The minister spent a lot of time talking about god’s blessing and we were to praise Jesus. Sometimes… even the bro and now SIL said t was a bit much. After the ceremony, there were family pics and then the party went off for more pics. The rest of us went to the cocktail area to chat. Lots of conversations were had – I learned lots about the SIL’s family – stuff I should have known already.

Dinner was fantastic. Mexican food – yum! I had the chicken with pumpkin flower, Mexican tea and something else. There were also tamales, sautéed onions and shrooms and 1 piece of broccoli. The only thing I didn’t like was the salad because it came with shrimp in it. Ick!

The old folks, except the SIL’s mom, went to bed and we hung out by the bar for awhile. It was fun. The rest went to the discotheque, but I had had enough by then (the Mariachi show was LOUD!), so I went to bed.

Day 7

A lazy day – we hung by the pool for most of the morning. People are tired and short-tempered. Mom is not feeling well. Their friend is just in a bad mood. Dad is peeved at their friend. I am trying to be good. :)

Took the Spanish class – it was great! And fun! Or should I say Excellente! Mom, her friend, and I went to the ocean after lunch, so I could get pics of my feet in the ocean and they could frolic. Then we all went to our respective rooms eventually. I took an hour nap and then packed a bunch. I am 95% done right now. Mostly just the stuff I still need or is in the safe is all that is left.

I would write more, but it is almost 12:30 am and I am exhausted. Dad wants to breakfast early. Ick!

Day 8

We leave today. I beat my parents to breakfast as mom is still sick. So mom went back to bed and Dad and I walked down to the nearby ruins to check them out. Very cool! Then some last bit of shopping. We were supposed to meet people by the pool, but after running into the bro and et all at the beach, it was just dad by the pool. We called it an early morning, since check out is at noon, so back to the rooms to pack and then check out (ick – carrying 4 bags at once down a flight of stairs…). Then we all went for lunch, where we all agreed it was time to go back. With both moms not feeling well, the weather was very overcast, and there were lots of people around now, it was a good time to go. So back to the bus and the scenic tour to the airport. I was 1 kg over the limit and had to pay, but the bonus was, because I was alone, I got bumped to first class – which rocks!!!! Too much food, but excellent seats, lots of room, and free stuff. J I was actually very lucky not to be cramped in the back with the sick people. Got home just after midnight and unpacked a bit so I could catch up with D. We missed each other.

And there it is – Mexico in a nutshell.