20 Random things you possilby didn’t know about me (and probably never wanted to know)
1. I don’t wear pajamas to bed. This became at TMI at work because I was complaining about the Christmas present my parents (namely my mother) got me. You can guess what I do wear then…
2. I hate pink, almost with a passion. I don’t remember when exactly I decided this, but perhaps it had to do with the fact that I was a daddy’s little girl and a tomboy, perhaps because it is the mostly putrid color I have ever seen, perhaps because unlike most other people, pink actually raises my blood pressure. I truly find the color, especially in its pastel quality, to be hideous. My mother on the other hand has decided that she loves me in pink – see comment above about Christmas present.
3. My mother has stated I need to be feminized and I am completely insulted. I am sorry, but with these lovely ‘huge tracts of land’, I don’t think anyone could mistake me for anything but a feminine being. Add to the fact that I like to play up my cleavage and my hour glass figure and what the heck?!? I wear makeup and jewelry and occasionally, people have seen me in a skirt. I won’t deny that I am not the delicate little girly girl, but I actually am quite girly and like to do girly stuff, though I do prefer more womanly pursuits.
4. I am quite proud of my anality, despite the depression it brings. There is nothing more depressing to me than when I don’t live up to my standards. There is nothing more calming and satisfying to me than getting something organized. Right now, my kitchen is clean. I have done dishes, washed the floor, cleaned the counters and stove and put the recycling away. My kitchen is clean and my soul is calm and happy. D doesn’t understand this. Not many do. I agree with the statement that the state of your kitchen is a reflection of the state of your heart. Right now, my heart is calm and clean. My office, aka my mind, is another matter.
5. My weight is a bigger issue to me that most people realize. The fact that I lost a decent quantity of weight a couple of years ago is something to be proud about. The fact that I have maintained the weight is a great thing. The fact that I have not lost really anything beyond that drives me absolutely crazy. It tears down my self-esteem every time I get on that damn scale (Saturday mornings) and the first two digits don’t change. I have all these great plans for exercising and somehow life just keeps getting in the way. I decide these are the days I am exercising and D’s schedule changes, ndie is over and I am stuck not getting my exercise time. I know, I could be more dominant and kick them elsewhere, but I am not very good at letting people be in the house while I exercise. Work is so chaotic that if the fave coworker is not around, I don’t take breaks. I hate to exercise with others; I hate to walk alone.
6. My love of Mexican food trumps all other foods. For someone who hates to eat the same food twice in a row, it should be odd that I could eat Mexican food everyday. Mucho Burrito just opened closer to my house and the only thing that would have made my heart sing more is if Taco Bell was closer as well - or maybe an authentic Mexican restaurant.
7. I used to chew my nails quite terribly. We are talking halfway down the nail bed bad. Nothing could make me stop when I was younger – I learned how to rip the nasty tasting nail polish off, I didn’t respond to negative or positive reinforcement. Several years ago, I used my willpower to stop that habit so I could actually have nails. The only time I chew them now is when I am reading a Laurell K Hamilton book – only my pinkies – or when the nail has chipped – something about the lack of smoothness drives my mind nuts and needs me to fix it immediately.
8. I am truly afraid of being abandoned. I don’t understand it. My parents are still married. I can’t think of why I would be afraid of this but I am. Often, when I am truly feeling depressed, my thoughts linger greatly on being abandoned by D and all my friends.
9. I have very short toes. D calls these stubby toes. I like the fact that my toes go from biggest to smallest and there are no odd toes in the middle that are longer.
10. My smallest toe has such a small nail bed and is quite chubby that you can’t actually see the nail bed. I once lost the entire nail on the small toe, but it grew back.
11. My favorite flavor of gum is Dentyne Ice Intense. I love the fact that after two chews, you can inhale and feel the sensation of the gum throughout your sinuses. It’s liking going outside after a cool rain and inhaling deep. It is so refreshing.
12. I wish I was more in touch with Nature and less self-conscious. I used to love standing outside during a rain shower or in the middle of the night when the world was mostly quiet and the stars were bright. I used to love just laying in the grass and watching the clouds. When I played in World of Darkness games so many years ago, I thought nothing of greeting the moon with 13 howls (see World of Darkness – Werewolf).
13. When did I lose the person I was? When did I let my friends dictate how much I discussed sex or TMIs? When did I let others decide if I was ‘normal’? When did being normal matter? I truly hate Society’s conventions, so why have I fallen into the trap of following them?
14. Having a harem is honestly one of my desires in life. People often think I am kidding about having a harem or I will laugh it off as being equivalent to Rosie wanting Tom Cruise so badly so he could mow her lawn. I would honestly love to have several people in my life that were more than friends. Part of me would love the life of Anita Blake – good stuff and bad – if only to have a Micah and Nathaniel… and Jason, Asher, Jean Claude… though I don’t know about Richard, he’s too much drama.
15. I am honestly surprised at how well I have taken to Yoga. Not including the fact that I can do so many of the moves, I just like the fact that it honestly has helped me be more aware of my breathing and my body. I find myself often lowering my shoulder or raising my ‘pelvic elevator’. I often change my breathing either by doing the actual movements we do in class or by imagining in my head that I am doing the moves and my breathing does slow down and become deeper. I can now tell when I haven’t done any yoga in awhile as I just feel different, less relaxed, more agitated.
16. I like doing projects, especially alone. Even when I shouldn’t be doing things alone, I like just doing things. I like having a beginning, a journey and an end. I like seeing the end result of a job well done. I like having that time to either think or not think. I like the research and the planning. However, I often lack the motivation to actually start the project. Once I get started, I am good, but often, it takes quite a bit to get my feet actually moving.
17. I think I am a very interesting person who is actually quite loving, intelligent, fascinating, fun, and sensual. I do not think others see me this way. I often don’t believe people, deep down, if they say they think I am any of these things. I want to believe other people think these things about me. But I don’t.
18. I am truly shy. People rarely believe me on this fact. I have great acting abilities when I want to and I can easily fake being gregarious. I find meeting people very nerve wracking. I often find large gatherings of people to be stressful. I am truly best alone, one on one or with a very small group of people I know. I have never gotten over this trait; I have just learned to fake what I need to.
19. My favorite cartoon characters are Eeyore, Ariel, Taz and Animal. I think that explains so much.
20. I like doing puzzles without looking at the picture. D finds this extremely annoying. I think it adds a level of excitement to the task. Obviously, you need to essentially know what the puzzle is you are doing, but by not staring at the picture or using it as the guide, I think you notice so much more detail in the picture. If I had room somewhere (and could find one that was an interesting picture – aka not a map of the world or the last supper), I would love to do a 10,000+ piece puzzle. Puzzles are almost as relaxing to me as reading.
Labels: life, quote of the day
