Travel journal entry - May 29th, 2012

Air Transat club class is totally worth it, but OMG, that's a lot of food! So the trick is to watch 2 movies right off while eating, then sleep for a couple of hours, and then watch another movie while eating. Oy! (editor’s note: this only works if the plane you are in has individual screens.)

Watched New Year’s Eve, which was good (editor's note: I did enjoy this movie; it was what I expected), and then In Time, which was interesting (editor's note: Despite some discrepancies, this is an enjoyable flick - interesting premise; includes some action and some romance - almost Bonnie and Clyde ish). D watched In Time, Chipmunks Chipwrecked, and part of Happy Feet 2. Supposedly D can’t sleep while travelling, so the second movie was to rest the brain.

Used the airline washroom twice! Oooh! Never done that before. It’s bigger than I thought.

First impressions of London – it smells like urine.

It’s funky. Lots of history. Lots of cobblestone streets. Aside from bits of ‘sleep’ on the plane and then a nap at 3:30 London time, it’s 9:30 pm now and we have been up – 30 hours. Oy! Did over 36,000 steps over these hours. Oy!

Anyway, tired. Need sleep. Tomorrow I’ll write what we did.

(Editor's note: I am still surprised I managed to stay awake that long, but it was totally awesome and we didn't suffer from jet lag. And we did SO much that day... more to come.)

'Oh, I can tell you're up to something. Please let me in on it, I haven't been this bored since I believed in Jesus.' - Georgina Sparks

I thought this related well to my mood this evening. I was doing really well, having a great day with a friend and her daughter, shopping and talking. Then my brain started showing that lack of sleep of the last week. And if you are going to screw up saying what you are thinking several times in a row, then it should be with a really good friend who knows you well enough to look you in the eye and say “What?!?” I am blaming the amusing child running around my house for distracting my brain. That and the lack of sleep. Then when they left, instead of being smart of going to bed or doing something non-brain related like watching tv or taking a bath, I go on the computer and let my mind wander while listening to my ‘sexy’ playlist. Now my brain is both horny and exhausted. So many thoughts going through my head and I am tired and bored and wanting to do something crazy. This seems to be my theme lately, except please don’t think I am doing any of this with pre-meditated intent. I have observed that part of my problem seems to be letting people’s perceptions/expectations of me color my behavior. So lately I have been going with the flow/energy of things. This has led to interesting discussions and events. This has also led to some interesting reactions.

And I want to discuss these reactions with people, but I am finding it impossible to get what my brain is thinking to come out my mouth legibly. So I drop little bits, which seem out of the blue. For example, at a recent party, I was talking with a couple friends and what comes out of my mouth is “I want to get really drunk and get with two men.” There was a pause. And then we got into a whole discussion of threesomes and such. Missing was the context that was going through my brain. I don’t drink. I don’t need to. I think I can be quite fun without adding alcohol and in a later conversation, most people agreed, though a couple paused and said that could be interesting.

But my point is – I am bored right now. In my life. I want to shake things up. I don’t want to be stupid or careless or such. I just want some more good life experiences.

And I keep hearing comments that make me wonder on the intention behind them. Like one of D’s ex-co-workers at last night’s party saying “I wanted to come early because I thought you would be gone by 8.” What?!? I know there is a bit of difference between their ages, but really?!? We are not exactly the type of people who leave early. Heck, I have been working on leaving earlier, because I am thinking people are sick of me being one of the last people at the party. But there are so many good conversations that happen in the wee hours. So many questions asked and answered that a few hours earlier would have been ignored or thought horribly intrusive. I like these kinds of conversations. I miss these conversations. I want more of these conversations.

So many thoughts going through my head - how to get what is in my head into action. How to get my nerve up to ask/do some of these things. Curiosity is both a curse and a gift. I have it in spades.

I also have exhaustion and I should probably stop myself from writing anymore. It is not good to have these deep conversations with yourself while connected to a computer.

Anyway, my resolutions this year include going more with the flow/energy of things, exploring more options, continuing my journey to a healthier, happier me, and allowing my curiosity out to play more.

In the meantime, I have to get my PVR down – OMG – the expander is full, the regular drive is at 33%. I have Season 3 of wizards of waverly place to watch and the 100 sexiest videos. That should bring it back down to 22%. Then I have tons of movies and part of me just wants to hunker down and watch movies all day and night. That part conflicts with the part of me that wants to get involved and play. I have been watching some of my older movies and there are some interesting ones, such as This Movie is Broken. About halfway through I decided it really was a concert video that someone decided to add a subplot too. Good concert – don’t get me wrong; it just seemed like the plot about a guy and girl hooking up was an afterthought. They have sex, go to a concert, then she takes off, and he searches everywhere for her (I stopped when he was searching for her, but then started watching the last half a couple days later where we see), but winds up staying at the concert with his best friend. And then suddenly in the second half it was quite engrossing as the hot guy and his best male friend get drunk and decided to make out. Ho-ot! However, the ending confused me. She shows back up and the best friend is passed out naked in the guy’s bed, the girl and guy get into bed and watched a video of the last song of the concert the guy videotaped on his phone. Then girl goes off to Paris and sends him a dvd that shows her feelings for him – which I really didn’t understand from the video they played at the end. Odd. I kinda hope he and his best friend become a couple and if not, hey if they need a girl to join, I am available. Teehee..

Anyway, let’s take this tired brain of mine and starting moving towards to bed. For sleep… yes, that is what I am talking about, need sleep. Teehee…

I’m inclined to believe the burden of knowledge is more compelling than the weight of ignorance. - CE Murphy

What a productive weekend. I got everything done on my list and more. Despite the constant back pain, the headaches, and the desire to venture outside, I managed to get things done and even relax. I did take a bath Friday night and went to bed early. That was nice. Then Saturday, I watch Easy A (I am totally buying this movie – what an homage to John Hughes) before getting settled into so many little things around the house and then settled down with updating my book list – both have and wants. Saturday night, D and I stopped by a family friend’s retirement party. We were a little late, but in actuality, it was perfect timing. The honoree was just a bit into her speech and we were provided dinner and dessert and then it was off (before Karaoke started) to Save On for groceries and home to put the fresh bedding on and sleep on fresh sheets. Squeee!!! Sunday, I started the day watching Eat Pray Love, which I enjoyed. It was not as good as the book, but it was long enough since I read the book that I was able to not pick it apart and just enjoy it. My critique would be that the book resonated emotionally with me and the movie tried a couple of times, but it just couldn’t get deep enough, couldn’t get past the hollywoodism. Then it was on to removing the light in the office and starting the taping and mudding. After a few hours of that, it was a yummy dinner of chicken kiev, jasmine rice, and peas. Mmmmmm… lovely goodness. Then off to London Drugs for shopping and home to do finances and taxes, both of which did not rob me of all of my hard earned money. So overall, a good weekend. I wish we could have spent a bit more time with friends, but everyone seemed busy this weekend. And next weekend is Easter, so yay – long weekend! Sleep – I love sleep. Heehee.

And this week should be so much better than last – Fave coworker is back! Little boss is away. Deadlines are over. We can’t play with our main system on Monday. There is a retirement party on Thursday. I am out for dinner on Tuesday and then book shopping! And it is a short week. Can it get any better?!? I hope so! Teehee.

I finished CE Murphy’s book – The Pretender’s Crown. Wow! I love this writer for the Retriever series and picked this one up because it looked intriguing. It is not a quick book to read – it took me a week to read in my usual fashion, but I don’t mind. Honestly, it is one of those books that you put down occasionally, not because you are tired of reading, but because you want time to absorb the last scene. It is a fascinating two book series (supposedly more may come about in the future) with political intrigue, sex, passion, self-discovery, betrayal, and at the heart, human courage and love. Of course, after a book like that, it is time for Katie MacAlister – something fun, with a great plot, witty dialogue, and lightness. Some books can be quite heavy and while Katie is great at plot, she makes it a fun read.

Interesting thoughts I had this weekend - Save On is laid out in such a way that I rarely walk through the bakery section or even notice it aside from bread/buns. I was trying to figure out where to go for groceries this weekend and as soon as I thought of Safeway, I knew I would be in the bakery section hoping for croissant donuts and Mountain Dew. If I went to Sobey's, I would be in the bakery section for blueberry scones and a mini cream pie (coconut or banana - does it really matter?!?). But when I thought of Save On, my head jumped around from veggies to the dairy section and I wasn't tempted by anything else. While this is probably bad news for Save On, it made me happy to not have to tempt myself. Waiting until D was with me is also another coping measure since I tend to give in to temptation more when I am alone. When I am with others, I prefer to encourage them to give in. Teehee.

Anyway, I should finish getting ready for bed. I am sure I have lots more to talk about, but perhaps another day. I am going to wrap myself in this good mood and cuddle into dreamland.

Cause you feel like paradise and I need a vacation tonight!

Oh yeah, you know it – Britney is in the house! And I am loving the album. It is a fun, night out on the town, kind of album. People are complaining about this. They wanted depth. Um, really? From Britney? Firstly, when someone has gone through some crap in their life (brought on by themselves or otherwise), sometimes you don’t’ want to delve into the depths of analysis. Sometimes you just want to have some fun. Secondly, Britney is often at her best when she is just having some fun. So give the girl a break. And goodness knows, I love the line above… because I so understand it. Don’t we all need a vacation with someone who feels like paradise? I know, I do! Heehee.

Other than that, I have given into the need for assistance with my weight loss journey. My doctor is part of the Primary Care Network (PCN) and they have a weight loss program that takes all of the lifestyle parts of the Weight Wise program, but none of the extremism or surgery expectations. So far so good, right? When they called back in November, the lady I talked to sounded so supportive and when I said I work during the day, she said they would be running night classes and she would call back in December to let me know when. She never called and in my cleaning frenzy, I put the number somewhere safe and promptly forgot where it was. I found it a couple of weeks ago and they called again 3 days later. It took a week of phone tag (where I did most of the tagging) and I finally talked to the same lady I spoke with before on Friday. Except obviously, she must have been new before because her attitude now stunk. Suddenly, they don’t do night time classes. And the next class was Monday and the next was the beginning of May. And the time sucks – 9:30 to noon. Really?!? No use going to work in the morning, I would get about 45 minutes of work and then I would have to go. I didn’t feel like going back for 3 hours in the afternoon, so I used my accumulated overtime to attend. The class was the intro class and it was good. Very informative and the nurse doing the presentation sounded like she cared. AND she wasn’t wafer thin, so she has been there; she understands. The only problem was one of the attendees who showed up 25 minutes late and the proceeded to answer all the questions and make it all about her. Okay, so she missed the beginning where we kinda set some norms, but hey honey, if you are so interested in this, then how about investing in a clock and then taking some time to get a feel of the room before you blurt out your crap? And after half of the session is over, perhaps you will have noticed, no one else is making it about them. The nurse mentioned several times we are all different and we would have individual appointments with a nurse – so stop talking! And then I had to deal with the phone lady again to book an appointment. As I stood in line, I heard her making the appointments and the first person got a 2:30pm appointment and I am thinking yes, I will be able to put in a couple of extra hours on other days, so I can leave early for my appointment, no using my overtime. When I get up there and ask for a late afternoon appointment, I am told the latest they do is 1pm. Seriously?!? I am not deaf… Sighhhh. So that means I would have to leave at about noon from work and then take off extra time because I am not going back for 45 minutes of work. Arghhhhh! I understand we need to put effort in to this, but how about working with your clients? Many of us work and with your hours being 8 to 4:30 Monday to Friday, that kinda limits things. So we will see how things go. Our first activity is food journaling… sighhhhh. Maybe I won’t need it. The stress at work has gone down; summer is here, so I can get out and do stuff; and I have been gathering the energy to kick me own arse for awhile now. Maybe this class will be all I need to get moving again. But we will see how the first appointment goes and go from there.

Aside from that, so many things I wanted to talk about, but frankly, it is hard to care about it all. Harper is an idiot again and we have to have an election again in retaliation. Actually, it is not even Harper that is the idiot – I am disappointed with all of them – Layton for working with Harper and then going over to Iggy’s side, Iggy for… well, breathing – I so don’t like him, and Gilles because dude you are only in one province, you shouldn’t be in the debates or even someone to consider – although he does speak really well.

A flower shop in New Brunswick has refused to provide service when she found out the request was for a same-sex marriage. And the owner wrote in an email stating: “I am choosing to decline your business. As a born-again Christian, I must respect my conscience before God and have no part in this matter.” While you have to admire her honestly, one does have to ask her intelligence. You aren’t supposed to deny anyone service due to prejudice and that is blatantly what this is. Plus did you really think it wouldn’t get out (hello, internet?!?) and can your business really survive the hit bad press is going to bring? Sighhhh.

And the comments some people post? OMG!! Let’s put it out there – it is called spell check and you should write everything where it can be spell checked before you post on someone else’s blog. Because my first reaction is if you can’t spell opinion, then I can’t honor your right to have one. Really, it taints my perception. And yet, I am so forgiving to the author of the blog for spelling errors. Double standard – yep, I have those. Heehee.

Tangled is a fantastic movie. I really enjoyed Confessions of a Shopaholic. I am so far behind in so many shows I am debating whether I want to watch them – like The Event – should I even bother? I can’t believe they cancelled The Cape – that show was cool! Even if one of the female characters reminded me of someone.

I am running out of ideas for suppers for one. I am seriously bored of all my usual creations. Perhaps that is part of my depressive laziness coming out, or perhaps it is the fact that I cook just about every day and I am sooooo bored of cooking. I ate out far too often in March, because I just couldn't cook again.

And speaking of eating out, my favorite taco bell is getting renovated. Or torn down, I am not sure which. What the heck?!? They made the best chili cheese burritos and were clean and I never had a bad batch of food from them. And supposedly, Taco Bell/KFC/Pizza Hut are in trouble. The company has already sold the Ontario and BC stores, but what about Alberta? I need my Taco Bell fix occasionally. I am so sorry I haven't bought more often, but the only close one after grocery shopping day is a Taco Bell/KFC and after waiting for my food for forever and watching them in the back, I was grossed out and I have had bad food from them. You need to move one closer. I will also apologize to Mucho Burrito because now there is an Edo and a DQ right by my grocery store. I might start doing there for my after grocery supper. Location, location. :)

Alright- I just saw the time and I should move along and get the last bit done on the computer so I can figure out something for supper. Wheee!

The Heartbreaking Works of Staggering Genius

Wow, I just reread the first line from my last entry and it could certainly relate to now. I took one day off from work. One flipping day so I can relax and survive until Easter. I worked a half hour of OT on Wednesday and another half hour yesterday. Can’t I just leave work and not have to worry?

Stress has both been steady and increasing at work. While I do get some time to clean and keep up, the work never ends and the problems keep coming. If I wasn’t the problem solver, it wouldn’t be a big deal, but it appears like I am the “only” one who can fix these things. Rumor has it at the beginning of next month I start my new position. The good news is I have been coveted by someone else and so will not be going straight into the job I originally turned down. The bad news is the new job is supposed data entry with some telephone work (I HATE working on the telephone) and within a month or two I should be bored to tears. The good news is the boss finally put in a case of why my position should be maintained. The bad news is no one has had me train anyone else to do my job. When I leave, no one will really know what I did. I am sure they will figure it out rather quickly though, even if no one is necessarily skilled to do what I do. As an added bonus, the committee I was added into in our planning meeting will have to continue without me, as I won’t be in this department anymore. Aw shucks.

Aside from that, it is the usual stressors. Though the temp who replaced Beyotch just about got herself thrown off the top of the building yesterday. She just walks up and interrupts whatever I am doing, like I am supposed to drop it all for her. ‘She’ is the most important thing around it seems and despite my subtle and not so subtle hints, she continues to interrupt. She even comes over and sits down while I am eating lunch, which I do in a corner of my desk where I can’t be seen unless you come right into my little area. I also am either reading or doing the crossword at the same time. She doesn’t care. She just starts talking. I came so close yesterday to say ‘f*** off’.

There is a part of me that is looking forward to the new position. I will miss a few of the people I work with, like fave coworker. I think I will miss him and ‘our’ time a lot. He kept me sane so often and I hope I did the same for him. And now… who knows.

What else has happened as of late? A friend of mine has written a book that was published. I really enjoyed the book. My only complaint would be the story could have easy transcended over a couple of books and I kind of felt he rushed the ending. It summarizes everything, which is great; you aren’t left guessing at the end. But there was a point where I think the story could have stopped and then continued in book two which would have made the story richer. Of course, it is his first book and who knew when he was writing it if there would be a book two for sure. I look forward to reading his novels when he is writing for himself and not for a specific title. But still, it is a good book – the story is interesting, you can connect with the characters and you want to continue reading which I think is a good sign. I suggest anyone who likes fantasy should give it a try.

The trip I went on went fairly well. The actual work part was the usual – other than some new news about my position (which a week later was contradicted), nothing really came out of it. The social event with the whole group was actually nice. The first night fave coworker and I went for dinner and we had a good time. The hotel rocked (heated bathroom floors!) and I love walking along Robson street in Vancouver. It is a really nice street and rarely were we approached by anyone, though I noticed if we were in a bigger group we were more often approached than when just a few of us. Interesting. I found the candy store and enjoyed shopping there. That was the only shopping we did.

Last weekend we went to see the Watchmen (D, ndie and I). It was good. Kind of depressing and very, very long. At one point, I figured it was wrapping up and when I chanced a glance at the watch, we still had an hour to go. Sheesh! It was 2h42m long. And that doesn’t include the commercials or previews. Oy! It was very graphic – more so than 300 (though we saw 300 at home and not in the theatre). Some scenes I think were not necessary (ie the ceiling scene). Dr. Manhattan took a long time to be naked. He wore a little covering for most of the first part of the movie. Once naked, he had the perfect limp penis. It didn’t do anything embarrassing. It didn’t really do much at all, which makes me agree with the rumor it was enhanced. Yes, full frontal male nudity – if you didn’t already know… well, sheesh. It seems all I see nowadays is full frontal. The week before, we watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall with Jason Segel (from How I Met Your Mother) – full frontal male nudity. I was very impressed - he pulled it off. Not a bad penis either. The first time you see it though it is a bit disconcerting. I am so used to seeing naked females that a naked male showing from the waist down was startling. Then it just becomes the norm. I don’t know if it is scary that it became so normal so quickly. Hmmmm…

Last weekend was super busy, this weekend and the weekend before last are super quiet. Lots of time for me to be alone (both good and bad). Hopefully, we can catch up on some shows. The PVR is getting a bit full.

Oh, I watched a terrible movie today – the Trilogy of Terror from 1974 (I think). Wow, is it different what would have scared us then compared to now. The movies are not scary, rather cheesy. In fact the friend who loaned them to me said they were below a B movie rating. She just wanted me to see the Zuni warrior fetish, which looks like a screaming toy I have at work. The plots were flimsy at best and I guessed all the ‘surprises’ at the beginning. And it reminded one that people are stupid sometimes – hello, read the scroll again about the fetish and then see what you should do when he attacks… sheesh! I think it is most known for Karen Black as she plays 4 different characters. Two are very similar looking, but the other two are quite different. Her acting skills leave a bit to be desired, but she certainly did a decent job.

Alright, that is about it. It is always amazing how busy you can be and yet still lead a boring life...

I’m cute. Let’s put me in charge.

This week has been hellish at work. So instead of starting with hell, let’s discuss some very interesting movies I have seen recently.

The Fountain with Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz - Spanning over one thousand years, and three parallel stories, The Fountain is a story of love, death, spirituality, and the fragility of our existence in this world. Honestly, when the movie ended, I just had to sit there for a bit and absorb it all. It is a fascinating movie that is both easy to watch and deep enough that you need to take time to think about it afterwards. I thought it was truly remarkable and very interesting. I recommend it to someone who isn’t looking for instant gratification that night.

Alpha Dog with JT (Justin Timberlake) – Surprisingly, it is a fact-based crime story of events that happened in California in 1999. The environment is the drug trade amongst the youth and what happens when one bad decision avalanches into several. The most interesting thing to me was that, since I had no recollection of these events, I had no idea how it would end until it did. Whether it was good acting or my belief in people, or even a combination of both, the ending caught me unawares. I hate to be vague, but I don’t want to give away the ending for those, like myself, who were not up to date on the entire story. It was really well done and very interesting and I do recommend it.

Open Season with Martin Lawrence, Gary Sinise and Billy Connelly – An animated film about a bear raised by humans who gets thrust into the wild. (Yeah, Ashton Kutcher is in it, but you can ignore that fact, just like I did, if only because Billy Connelly steals all the scenes he is in.) It’s a hilarious movie, full of comedy, great voices and of course, the all-important lesson that wild animals belong in the wild. I recommend it for those looking for a lighthearted romp. Sidenote – I so want the porcupine. So cute!

And books – if you are any bit of a reader, I highly recommend Jasper Fforde’s series about Thursday Next. These books have made me laugh so much with the play on so many things, like MS Window versions, photo radar cameras and grammar errors. If you know the classics, you will love the book more. But even for those like me who have a natural resistance to the classics, you will know enough to thoroughly enjoy these books. I am reading book 3 right now and they are bringing in a new program that seems a lot like the way MS Windows is developed, marketed, etc. So funny.

So h-e-double hockey sticks – remember how I have mentioned that there always has to be one in the office, well, since the moment I started, I have known who the primary one would be. This week was her week to express the qualities that make her the ‘one’. I hate it when people diss you to your face and then say no offense intended. Look Be-yotch, if saying that relieves your guilt, whatever. Because offense was taken just like it was intended. And then to have the nerve to ask for my assistance, which really was just a thinly veiled way to get me to do the icky part of her job. It is remarkable to me that I didn’t throw her out the window. Why do I always have to find the ones that think they are so nice, when they’re not? At least this ones says it behind my back and to my face, guess I should be happy about that. It makes for a frustrating time at work, even though I have so many people who appreciate what I do and who understand what my job is and who support me. Arghhhhh! And the thing is she is just not worth it. I hate giving her the power to elicit a response out of me and to make my day horrible for even a few minutes. I noticed that I treat her different. If anyone else asks for help, I will drop what I am doing to help them. But when she asks, I always say it depends, what do you need. Do you think she has noticed this? I have.

In other frustrations, this week I had to sew D’s pants again (cause D doesn’t sew). This is the third week in a row that I have sewn these two pairs of pants after they have gone through the wash. The first time, the little hook on the pants fell off, so I sewed a new one on. Second time, the dryer pulled both of the hooks off. I sewed them again, really well. This time, the dryer pulled one off, making a small tear and on the other pair, since it couldn’t get the hook off, it ripped the pants a good two inches. Uck a duck! So now I have bent the hook and resewn it all. The really sucky part is that these are new pants. They have only been used for about two months.

This reminds me of the video that Baby Jail had on her blog. The Story of Stuff is a very interesting 20 minute video about the cycle of consumerism. It is completely worth seeing, even if you do nothing with the information. It is enough that it makes you aware and it makes you think. And I personally was happy that someone else has learned the horrors of Hell-mart and is thinking they may not shop there again. We need to take some action, even if it is only passing on information. Education is key.

People forget how new so many things/ideas/concepts/behaviors are. 50 years ago, people didn’t spend money like they do now. 50 years ago, we didn’t have the environmental problems we have now. 50 years ago, people were happier. I am not saying that we haven’t discovered wonderful thing in those 50 years. I don’t discredit what innovation, science, and evolution has created. But in all that has happened, we have lost that sense of stewardship of our planet; we have lost a sense of connection with other people; we have lost our place in our lives, in history, and in the universe.

They say that 50 is the new 40 and 40 is the new 30, etc. And yet people wonder then why it is taking so long for people to discover themselves and their place. Firstly, we live to about 100 years old now. Yet we retire at 65. What do we do for 35 years? Then if each decade equates to an earlier decade that means that people in their 20’s are equivalent to children and people in their 30’s are just exploring themselves and finding love, etc. Years ago, you lived to 50 so you fit life in a very short time and you grew up faster. Well, you double the life span, you double the time it takes to grow up. And to retire at 65 with the knowledge that you could live another 35 years, how can one not have to revamp their whole lives – who they are, what defines them, what do they do. 50 years ago, your job defined you – you were blue collar, white collar, mother, etc. Now, you could be all of that in one week, let alone a lifetime. Innovation and evolution are all great things, but I don’t know that we have intellectually, emotionally or spiritually kept up. So many people act like little kids, needing instant gratification, lacking a sense of right or wrong, and not aware of consequence.

How do you discipline a 30 or 40-year-old person who is acting like a child? If it is not illegal, what can you do? Goodness, you just have to look at the response of so many smokers to the latest law to see how childish people can be. There is no care about what the consequence is of their smoking beyond their addiction. No care that second hand smoke is one of the highest killers of people, higher than the damage they do to themselves by smoking. No care that they litter the ground with their butts, thereby leaching the toxins into the water supply and affecting everyone. No, these people only care that someone has told them no. And their response is often just to blow the smoke in your face because you had the nerve to tell them no, you don’t accept their behavior. It is like dealing with a two year old who wants that toy in the store.

And I don’t think that I am not a part of the problem. I have my instant gratification moments; one just has to look at my library to know my weakness. Or look into my pantry. I may not shop at hell-mart, but I know that some of the brands that I buy are not environmentally friendly companies. I want to research more, but I also want my time to be my own. I don’t want to go to the farmer’s market every week and buy groceries, even though I know that I am getting better quality, more environmentally friendly goods, at a much higher price. How do you find balance? That is my goal.

Here’s my quote for this week

How about making “what am I thinking?” your mantra this year? Because your inner bitch knows it beats “what was I thinking?” any day.